Long Time, No Post

My first post of the new year. What's new? I didn't get the job (the one that would have paid me to travel and help prospective students). I am currently volunteering at a large hospital. I just applied for an HR assistant position at another smaller hospital located very close to where I live. I am also looking to volunteer at another hospital to do different work. The first one is for career exploration. This one is to build office skills. Staying positive!

Hello.

It's been awhile. Just over a month but feels much longer. Think the approaching holiday season has something to do with it.

What have I been up to...I am still looking for work. Though I applied to a cool position that will allow me to travel abroad and help people. I am just waiting to hear back from then which could take four more weeks (I applied two weeks ago). I may be volunteering at a hospital soon. Oh, and my little dog just passed away a week ago. She was the most adorable thing ever. I miss her.

I am also working on getting an etsy shop open where I can sell my drawings. I started to work on it last year but then all the legal stuff made me put things to the side and I haven't done anything since the beginning of the year. So now I just have to decide if I want to do this as a hobby or do this as a business. To do this as hobby I would just need to open a separate checking account to keep my personal finances separate and when tax time comes I would just need to report income on a line on the basic form. To open a business requires filing a name for the business with the county, getting an employer ID number from the IRS, a business checking account, and different set of paperwork for filing and claiming taxes (and more paperwork).

Exciting changes and projects to start me on my path in the new year.

Spoke Too Soon, Again.

I feel I have corrected myself so many times on this blog. I'm about to do it again. Looks like I won't be going into school psychology as a career even though I could see myself in that role. At this point, I probably should not announce what I think it is. It is probably better for me to wait until I actually get accepted into a graduate program. By that time, it would have been determined. The only thing I know is that I will be working with kids.

Currently I am waiting to hear back from a job I applied to three weeks ago. I submitted an application on the day of the deadline. This uncertainty is just unsettling. Today and some time last week, I filled out a volunteer form to work at two different elementary schools. I also submitted my resume to an after-school center near home.

In the same shopping center is a tae kwon do school so I went over and got some information. I was looking into enrolling in some sort of recreational class to meet new people. I'm one of those people that doesn't go out much. I was actually thinking of another tae kwon do school but saw this one on my path. Turns out this one is even better location and schedule-wise. However, I don't think I should spend that kind of money right now. I'm also considering yoga. This class is a lot more affordable and runs until the end of January. Both classes will be beneficial. The tae kwon do class will be a nice change from a few of the classes I've taken in the past where my classmates were over 50. This class I will only have to worry about a little kid wearing a black belt. The other thing I have to worry about is walking and taking the bus in the evening. It's getting darker earlier now.

Another Turn

Not much has happened in my life since my last post. It is pretty much the same. However, my career path has taken another turn. It is no longer going to be in international development. I have missed the window for that. I also realized I am not disciplined enough to work in this field since there is a lot of working independently. I am getting better at discipline but I don't have enough of it.

So what exactly do I have in mind now? Working with kids. Probably helping them, too. I still like to and would like to incorporate that into my future career. I have ruled out teaching from my volunteer experience where I did a lot of raising my voice and telling kids to do their homework. I can not handle a group of kids even if they are a bunch of little kids. At the end of the day, it's just tiring. I did some research into child psychology graduate programs. A lot of the graduate programs are aimed at creating researchers and academics in the field. That's not what I want to do. The other option I came across is a career as a school psychologist. The graduate program wouldn't take as long (3-4 years, whereas the child psychologist path is about 5-6 years). I also wouldn't need to basically go back and take a bunch of psychology courses to get into programs. I would just need to take some. The only thing is I have to go talk to a counselor at the community college first to see if I could still get into grad school with the coursework I did as an undergrad. It's been 8 years since I graduated. Could I still use those courses to fulfill my undergraduate requirements?

Just before writing this post, I came across this blog written by a school psychologist. Reading about what one of her days is like, made me smile. This is pretty much what I would love to do for a career. I love school, I like/love kids, I love helping them. This must be it. Now it's just a matter of studying for the GRE and taking those psychology courses to prepare me for grad school.

synchronicities

most people know it by its other name: coincidences. however, there are no such things as coincidences. i believe this more and more now. you call it a coincidence and then that incident never crosses your mind again. i was in the car with my cousin and his wife recently. we drove past her old high school in long beach and she was telling us what had happened on one of the days following the rodney king beating in los angeles. news had spread of the riots which had just begun. it was a school day. the school decided for the students' safety that they need to let the students out of school now. (it was around 11 a.m.). my cousin's wife is white. she takes the bus. so she went to wait for the bus. there was some sort of commotion going on at the bus stop and before it had escalated, at that moment, her friend's mom was just driving past that corner, saw her, and yelled at her to get in the car. she got in and got home safely. (she learned later that something also happened on her bus). there is no way that that was a coincidence. although, she thinks it is.

anyhow, i only started seeing coincidences as synchronicities recently. once i did, i could see that i've been experiencing them for a few years now. when i arrived in france in 2009, those coincidences were all synchronicities. sometime after i arrived home when life started going downhill, though, it stopped. it started again at the end of last year.

right now, i'm having a hard time making a decision regarding where to go to work. i could a) go work at a store that's very close to home, where i could walk home. the work is retail. the pay would be small. i could do that for a short while while i volunteer in an office somewhere to gain more experience. i would then wait for something to open up at ikea. my other option is b) go back to ikea. now. it is far. i would need someone to pick me up after closing which due to the distance is a problem. i figured maybe take the first option. take driving lessons again. once i get more comfortable driving, i can then go back to ikea. (did i mention gas is now at $4/gallon?) although, with the first option saving up for a used car will take longer.

how does this tie into synchronicities? well, awhile ago i was on facebook. in the corner was a notification that reminded me it was a friend's birthday today. this friend used to work at the club. she left to start on her career. i go to look at her facebook page. one of the things that she "liked" was a club in her hometown. i scroll through their fb page. i come across my friend's picture but i just thought she was there to volunteer. i keep scrolling. i see another picture of her. above the picture is her title at the club. she now works there. she has moved back to northern california and has gone back to work for her old club. she must have had a hard time finding work in southern california. i remember her saying moving back home would be her last resort.

then a short while ago, i was just checking up on ask a manager, a work-related blog, and this was part of its newest post:

1. Can I tell my former employer that I want to come back?
I worked for an employer a little over 4 years. It was my first job out of college and I was feeling really tied down and restless and wanted to try a new environment, so I switched from a consulting firm to working in an internal corporate role. I’m basically miserable at my new job. I don’t really like any of coworkers and just don’t feel like its a good fit. I liked my old job better and feel like I had a little quarter-life crisis and case of the grass is greener. It’s only been 6 months since I left.

reading that, i felt i was reading about myself (not all of it relates to me, though).

- i had worked at ikea for almost four years.
- it was pretty much my first real job out of college.
- i did go through a quarter-life crisis when i was there.

and now i am considering going back. it seems to be the only place that would hire me without much difficulty. i am still not sure if i'm ready for that hr generalist position considering my experiences in an office setting so far. tomorrow is the last day to apply. sigh.

well, well, well.

i checked my inbox this morning. the school district had sent a message yesterday evening. though, i did score higher than 70% on the exam (i got 82%), because so many people had also made that mark or higher, they decided to raise the passing score to 87%. there goes that. all that worrying for nothing.

so moving on, i decided to check ikea's website. there are a few openings. one for a human resources generalist. if only i had a car.

moving along

the application was due on the 23rd. i turned mine in on the 22nd. on the 23rd, i received an email telling me about the written test (though i did not check my email til the 26th) which would be given today. most of the test was what i thought it would be, multiple choice scantron. questions that were screen captured images of the actual work we would be doing. questions regarding excel, grammar, and filing. and of course, my least favorite, phone etiquette. i will definitely be working on that, if i get the job.

anyway, today i fretted over what to wear, afraid that others might be wearing suits and i would be the only one without a matching suit jacket or jacket at all. i arrived to the school district office and walking over to the testing room, noticed that there was one woman dressed in a purple dress, a very unbusiness-type of dress. a younger woman wore jeans, converse, and a hoody jacket. it was a mix of attire. by the time the test started, there was about 30 of us. the proctor told us, we would be notified by tomorrow if we will move on to the panel interview wednesday of next week. i was relieved to hear that this interview would be 25 minutes max. the final interview, i'd imagine would be the following week. work would start middle of next month. this is by far the quickest interview process i've been through.

i call him christopher robin.

there is another kid at work who i have added to my list of favorites.  i nicknamed him christopher robin. like the little boy in the winnie the pooh stories, he is soft spoken and is well-behaved. i have yet to see him get in trouble or disobey one of the staff members. when i'm outside, he'll usually come up to me with both arms outstretched and ask if i can get him one of the "soft balls," a soft rubber ball the size of a basketball.

last week, as his grade level was dismissed to line up, he ran and slipped on mud. he fell on his side. i didn't see it happen because i was turned the other way. when i did turn around, he was still on the ground crying. luckily he didn't scrape his knee that much. i felt awful. wish i could've gone and given him a hug.

my day

i got to work today and realized because it is thanksgiving week there are not that many kids at the club. though i could walk around and watch the kids, there might not be anything for me to really do. i considered leaving early but decided to just stay the whole shift which was 3.5 hours.

it was a good thing i didn't leave early. i got to watch two brothers (still young and they look like eachother) play chess. because they are brothers the game went like this: older brother decides to not play by the rules. gets little brother mad. they are korean so the exchange went back and forth between korean and english. of course i wasn't there to watch the game. it was more to watch the brothers be brothers. right before my shift was over, i also got to play kids master mind with one of the kids.

the myth

yesterday, i attended my cousin's wedding. before the ceremony, i got to talking to an adult relative who i haven't seen in awhile. he asked me what i was doing, about work and etc. i told him that i am working but that it's part-time (actually less than part-time but i didn't say that). the conversation then got to a point where he started to tell me how at my college graduation he just thought that because i had done well in school and now have a college degree, that i would have no problems getting a good job. he told me how he has friends who applied to hundreds of places before they got a job or the other friend who just got a teaching job at a local university, earning $100k. i asked if his friend got a head of department position. he said no. i turned and asked my other cousin's husband standing with us. he replied, "for tenure positions." yeah. no one gets tenure right out of grad school. out of grad school you would be more than fortunate to get an adjunct position. anyhow, he said i should consider going back to school for a better income. when i told him that a lot of the jobs i've been applying to were in retail he was surprised. he had assumed i was applying to "good jobs." sigh.

a few things he said were good advice. yes, going back to school, incurring more debt, debt bigger than i could imagine, would be worth a bigger income. or is it? unfortunately, he believes in the old saying that a college degree gets you a good job. (darn you, society!) sorry, uncle. it is only true if i had gotten a practical degree. even then not everyone with a practical degree is guaranteed a good job. i also don't agree with just applying to hundreds of jobs. this isn't like entering into a raffle and the more you enter, the higher your chances of winning. you really need to be selective so that you can concentrate on putting together a nice resume/application. getting a job is about your work experience-what kind of experience you have and for how long. (yes, i know. it's about networking, too). however, applying to hundreds of jobs won't get you a job if you don't have the experience and you're competing with other people who do. (this craigslist experiment illustrates my point).

seriously. it is a pain talking about finding a job with people who haven't been through unemployment.

seen & heard on the playground #2

while monitoring little kids on the playground, one of the girls who is sitting on the swings but not swinging yet, looks to me and asks, "can somebody push me?" i then realize i haven't told them my name yet and that i should do that the next time. i think it's funny that the little girl, not knowing my name, referred to me as "somebody" instead of using "you." i told this to my friend and supervisor, who both work inside, and they both giggled.

working with kids

my experience with kids is almost non-existent. before i got to where i am now, i was at ikea. i did not work in småland but i did work a little bit in the kids department. the only time i had to deal with them is when they came up to me because they got separated from their parents. at the club, i work with the kids. i am learning as i go. of course there are things i'm not aware of or that i forgot regarding working with children. i am aware that i am in a supervisory role. i need to help keep an eye out for things going on on the playground. even though i don't work at a school, i learned at a staff meeting that everyone who works in a childcare setting is held by law to report any suspicions they might have regarding sexual abuse of any student (mandated reporting). before the utterance of those words, i still saw myself as a babysitter. after however, i saw my responsibility in a whole new, scary light. of course, there will be something like this going on in homes that we have to keep our eyes open to. unfortunately, this is the dark side of working with kids.

kiddie moments

when you work with elementary school-aged kids, it opens up your mind. i say this because with teenagers, everyone remembers what it's like to be a teenager. they think they know everything and they just bug but with little kids, parts of their behavior you recognize but then does anyone remember what it was like at that age? probably not. they say and do things that just makes you understand things from a different perspective.

- back in late spring, i was helping my executive director with a project. i had to ask the kids about their experiences at the club. one of the questions i asked to one third or fourth grade student was, how do you think your volunteering will help you in the future? his response, "i don't know." i then tried to rephrase that question. his response was still, "i don't know." that's when i realized, oh! he's too young to think about the future. little kids don't think that far ahead. maybe to the end of the week if they have something fun to do but to think about something 5 or 10 years down the line, no.

- yesterday at work, during homework time, i went around the first and second grade group. one of the kids, little miss sunshine #2, a first grader, needed help. she had to read a passage but it had to be timed. she started to read. outloud. since she was sitting at a table with other kids, i asked her if she could read quietly, in her head. she said, "no." i'm not sure if it's just her or maybe little kids her age can't do things like that yet.

- during this same homework time, if kids are done with homework they are then to do worksheets and then find a book to read. a few weeks ago when i first started helping out with this activity, i noticed little miss shy sitting with her seat turned around (so she's not facing the table). she had her book upright on her lap, facing away from her and she was reading the book as if there was a group sitting in front of her. in other words, she was pretending to be a teacher. it was so adorable. she still does that sometimes. yeah, she's at that age where she mimics adults.

mr. smalls

continuing on the subject of little miss and mr. men, i'd like to introduce another "character." i call him mr. smalls. he is the smallest boy in first grade. he comes dressed everyday in hip hop style: an l.a. baseball cap one size too big, a t-shirt also a little too big, sneakers and jeans (his jeans are thankfully not baggy). i'm sure his parents dress him or maybe an older brother. mr. smalls is too cute for words. luckily he does not have a hip hop attitude to go with his style. he's still just a first grader. anyhow, what makes him too cute for words is that on top of his personal style he is also missing his front teeth. when he talks, it makes me smile and giggle. being toothless in the front makes him say everything with a hissy sound. sometimes i don't understand the words he's saying so i just turn to a colleague and ask if she understood him. it just makes me think, "mr. smalls, you just lost your street cred when you smiled. good thing, you're only in first grade."

little miss and mr. men

i decided a few weeks ago to fill up some of my available days during the week with volunteer work at the club. i realized that had i done this a year ago, i might have been given more hours to work with the kids. instead i just decided to keep to my office work and when the time came to hire more people for the summer, i knew i had missed an opportunity.

working with little kids (first - third graders) is not easy. once in awhile i will start thinking about how cute some of them are, then the next moment i'm shouting at them to stop playing while they're standing in line. because i don't look like an adult, i don't have their respect yet (i'm working on it).

since they are small i've decided to nickname them which brings me to the title of this post: little miss and mr. men. since these are little kids i work with, the title little miss and mr. men are perfect for them. there's one second grader who is chubby and adorable. she rarely does her homework and is often disobedient. she also already has an attitude. therefore a name like little miss attitude suits her well.then there's little miss shy. she's a little bit smaller than the other first graders. she's quiet and is often found wandering around the club playing by herself. today my supervisor came out to the park (just outside the building) and told me about little miss shy's wandering tendencies and to please, keep an eye on her. there's also two little miss sunshines. they are both blonde haired and adorable. little miss sunshine #1 has been a member for a couple years now. she is always seen with a soda or ice cream stain around her mouth. little miss sunshine #2 is new. she has a round face and today she tattle tailed on the boys who were sitting at her table. (i wish i could take pictures of them but it's not permitted.)

i have to admit the first two days (i started last week) working with the kids i felt lost and wondered what i was doing there, thinking to myself, "i need to get another job." that feeling is now gone and i feel more at ease now. (though i am still looking for another job.) however, there is stuff i need to learn including disciplining them, boundaries, etc. i feel like i've been trying to go after every misbehavior when everyone else only calls out the really bad incidents.

i also signed up to volunteer at an elementary school in my neighborhood. one of the first grade teachers called me last week to see if i was interested in helping her in the classroom with a reading activity. i won't be starting that until the week after next. i'm currently taking a yoga class that conflicts with her schedule. hopefully i'll be less tired once my yoga class is over. right now right after class, i have to go home, take a short break and then head out to work which is tiring since i commute on foot and by bus.

mispronounced names

for someone like myself, my first and last name (especially my last name) is difficult to pronounce. sometimes i don't bother telling people how to pronounce my last name (and once i let my prof in college mispronounce my first name for an entire quarter). i've even given an easier pronunciation of my last name in college.

today while catching up on ask a manager, she mentioned that she saw a colleague with a button under her email signature that states, "hear my name." her colleague used audio name. you can call the service, in your own voice, record the correct pronunciation of your name, and use that wherever needed (more so in business communications, i'm assuming). what a great idea. it is for use on online social networking sites (and anywhere else online that you need. although a link to one's name on a business card could also be something to consider.)

career-update

i realized for my work in the nonprofit sector, my place is in admin.  I would like to work in HQ as opposed to working in the field (though i would like to be able to go out to the field, too). i came upon this conclusion based on my current job and from what i have envisioned for myself for the longest time. my current job is doing data entry. before i got this job i used to think data entry as a boring job. it might be if i only had to work with numbers. however, the data i work with is non-numeric. i can actually make sense of it, i know what it deals with, i can see how it helps the nonprofit. it is interesting to me. as far as what i envisioned, i always wanted to work and live abroad--in europe. so i put these two things together and that is where i'm at now. it does affect my school choices a bit. i will still have to study international development in some way but it might be as a concentration instead of the major. i might be going into nonprofit management (though i do not intend to manage a nonprofit - still working it out).

another thing i realized is that if i do my graduate work at a part-time schedule, it will take me 3-4 years to finish(!) the flip side is that it will give me more time to intern and i will have enough professional experience by the time i graduate to find a good job. not a bad trade-off.

my life is on loop

there is not much going on in my life.  i am still trying to find a second job.  had an interview the other day at macy's but did not get it. i have emailed another nonprofit to see if i can volunteer in their office doing the same thing there as i do at my current job.  i hope to do that for a few months and then transition into their operations internship.  ultimately hoping that i will get a part-time job offer from them as well.  that would be awesome.

the part of my life that is playing on loop right now is regarding a guy at work.  he likes me. i like him (though he doesn't know that--that's where the problem lies). anyway, we don't work in the same part of the building and we especially don't work together.  we just don't have many opportunities to talk. most of the time, i have the hardest time saying anything to him. this is what each day is like:  everyday that i work he comes in to work in the afternoon, makes his phone call and we exchange a "hi."  he hasn't tried to start a conversation with me. again, not much opportunity for that.  sometimes he finds an excuse to come into the office (make photocopies, print something, etc) but says nothing (maybe i intimidate him?).

i've told my cousin about the situation. she says maybe he would say more if i asked him, "how are you?", too.  (i am somewhat socially awkward). i'm thinking he may be afraid of rejection which is why he hasn't asked me out yet. i really wish i could talk to him as easily as i do everybody else but unfortunately that is not happening.

this part of my life has been going on since february.  i have an idea of when it could happen though.  according to one annual horoscope i found, it says nothing significant will happen regarding love, until this autumn. sigh.

they laugh...

went to my cousin's house yesterday.  our older cousin then stopped by.  we all went out to grab a snack.  before leaving i asked my cousin if he could teach me to drive his car (it has a manual transmission).

he sort of chuckled and then asked my other cousin, "remember what she [I] told me about why she wants to learn to drive a stick shift?"

my younger cousin then responded with a laugh and said "because she wants to work in africa and they have to drive stick there." 

um...yes, it sounds far-fetched in a world they live in - in the suburb or major city.  however, i didn't imagine any of this up.  i was serious about that.  i did my research.  many people who work in international development or humanitarian aid, if they live and work in a developing country, drive a stick shift.  at usaid, all new employees are trained to drive a stick shift if they don't already know how. 

my younger cousin then added, "it's probably because the roads there are unpaved."  duh.

can't believe they laughed at my dream. [shakes head in disappointment.]

another step

lately i've been looking into another volunteer opportunity...instead of applying for jobs.  sigh. i had contacted a hospice a few cities away, who had advertised a volunteer opportunity doing similar things i'm doing now at the club. they haven't emailed me back yet.  so i kept looking for other volunteer gigs. today, i came across a few more organizations in need of help in the office. most are too far away though. then i came across this nonprofit not too far away that need help sorting through donated medical supplies. this time i got a glimpse of their mission statement and it turns out a lot of the supplies that need to be sorted are to be shipped off to developing countries. it was then i realized this is the volunteer opportunity i should be doing.  in addition, this nonprofit also offers internships in a few areas i would love to participate in, one of which is logistics (i will come back to that later).

before i go on, i have to back track.  in the summer of 2010, i was looking at the posting for the volunteer opportunity at the club.  i didn't start volunteering there until april of the following year.  however, before i came across that opportunity i had stumbled across the volunteer opportunity for this nonprofit.  for some reason, i didn't read far enough in their mission statement. though at the time, i didn't know yet that i would want to work for an international nonprofit/humanitarian aid sector. i looked into this volunteer opportunity of sorting through things but it didn't seem a very good use of my time, the bus ride would be too long just to go sort through supplies. i ended passing this opportunity up and kept looking.

back to their logistics internship, i would love to learn this. if they tell me, i can't then i won't mind volunteering in their store or in the office.  either way i'm going to learn something.  i am pretty excited and i haven't even sent them an inquiry yet. why am i excited about a logistics internship.  awhile ago i was reading blogs from people who have gone to work on missions for the international red cross in different countries around the world.  it seemed like something i would love to do one day.  however, there are only a few positions that they recruit for:  medical personnel, admin/h.r., and logistics.  i am not a doctor, nurse, or surgeon. i'm working on my admin experience but have no h.r.  and logistics?  along with admin/hr, a logistics person is needed in most international nonprofits who deal with sending crews/supplies to foreign lands.

now the only thing i need to figure out is how many days do i want to go in.  the nonprofit might have a minimum service requirement per week.  then i still have to find a second job.  maybe this will just be like my experience at the club:  a job will come from volunteering.