goodbye 2012. hello, 2013.

this year went by so fast. every year it seems that way. 2012 wasn't my best year. i let a number of opportunities slip away. i didn't take control of my life which totally sucks, in hindsight. on the bright side, i am finally coming out of the dark and into the light - something i had not seen for two years.

in 2013 i hope to take back my life and get it back on track again. i already have a plan of what i want to do career-wise. i am finally excited about life, again.

twitter art exhibit mini update

i just checked the facebook page. my piece has 5 likes. nice way to end the evening. the show is january 12th. not sure if i'll be able to attend the opening but still exciting. i also have some other things planned that i want to get done before the reception. can't wait to reveal that.

update: just checked the facebook page again. on another album where all the pieces are posted, my piece has 4 likes (different people from the other one) plus one person shared the image.

beautiful skin for 2013

today i went out and bought facial toner by simple. (it got good reviews). i had wrote about getting toner to add to my skincare routine as i wanted to follow a french routine. my regimen isn't totally french, though. i do use a scrub which supposedly they don't. i will also need to drink more water. i'm pretty sure that is part of the secret to their clear complexion. i was looking at other brands online but wasn't ready to pay that much. right now, my face looks clear. however, sometimes it has way too many mini breakouts and i can feel that my skin isn't smooth. with this new addition, i'm hoping that my skin will soon be clear and smooth.

i call him christopher robin.

there is another kid at work who i have added to my list of favorites.  i nicknamed him christopher robin. like the little boy in the winnie the pooh stories, he is soft spoken and is well-behaved. i have yet to see him get in trouble or disobey one of the staff members. when i'm outside, he'll usually come up to me with both arms outstretched and ask if i can get him one of the "soft balls," a soft rubber ball the size of a basketball.

last week, as his grade level was dismissed to line up, he ran and slipped on mud. he fell on his side. i didn't see it happen because i was turned the other way. when i did turn around, he was still on the ground crying. luckily he didn't scrape his knee that much. i felt awful. wish i could've gone and given him a hug.

holiday wish list

arrow jewelry has been on my secret wish list for awhile. today, i came across work from two different artists, (of)matter and moorea seal.

1- spike triangle drop earring, $22, (of)matter
2- arrowhead ring, $20, moorea seal
3- arrowhead necklace, $27, moorea seal 
4- brass arrow triangle earring, $22, (of)matter

i would not have come across these pieces if it weren't for the blog, door sixteen. she's promoting buying from local artists for the holidays. if only i could afford these things right now.

one match stick, two

more baby pine cones.

my day

i got to work today and realized because it is thanksgiving week there are not that many kids at the club. though i could walk around and watch the kids, there might not be anything for me to really do. i considered leaving early but decided to just stay the whole shift which was 3.5 hours.

it was a good thing i didn't leave early. i got to watch two brothers (still young and they look like eachother) play chess. because they are brothers the game went like this: older brother decides to not play by the rules. gets little brother mad. they are korean so the exchange went back and forth between korean and english. of course i wasn't there to watch the game. it was more to watch the brothers be brothers. right before my shift was over, i also got to play kids master mind with one of the kids.

if you haven't guessed, it's a twist tie. i love these things. they have, for me, so many uses. one of the things i use it for is to keep battery charger cords in order. i just loop the cord around like a garden hose and then twist tie it together. i remember when living in france, one of the few things that bothered me were their twist ties. whatever it is made from does not do a good job of staying secure. not that it comes undone, it just doesn't secure tightly enough. now i know for any future trip to france, i need to pack some twist ties from home.

a portrait.

while going through a box of stuff from my past, i found this. this was done many years ago but my profile is still the same. you get two profiles--the other one has me facing left. (think she just did one cut out from two sheets). it probably took the artist about one minute to do.

recently i was reading about an etsy wedding where a friend of the bride and groom did this for all the wedding guests. (their friend was trained at and worked at disneyland). very cool.

 

it's been awhile since i last drew.

random bits.

i have a bunch of things on my mind so i'm just going to dump it into one post.

1. southern california is going through some wacky weather. a few days ago it was sunny and fairly hot that i had to use an umbrella to shield myself from the sun's rays. yesterday, it started to rain, was grey, and cold. i wasn't wearing a proper jacket so now i am sick. today, the sky was blue and cloudy but still cold. it is about 10:34 pm right now and it's cold inside.

2. i have been trying to figure out what i want to do all over again. still don't know yet. i'm questioning what i previously thought i was going to do: work in international development. currently i feel like the universe is pushing me into education. i am currently working with kids and one of the things i do is help them with homework. i am also in the process of applying for a tutoring position at another club.

before the idea of working/studying international development was snuffed, i came across a program called world teach where volunteers are sent to teach in developing countries for one school year (or a summer period). i am now reading about current volunteers' experiences through their blogs. i hope soon that i will have a feeling one way or another about going into international development. at the moment i'm just questioning everything i can, making sure that i want to go into it for the right reasons.

3. realizing that the last two years, as difficult as it might have been, taught me an important lesson as well as realizing that i am still very fortunate. millions of other people are going through much harder times than i am.

4. can't believe it's already november. another year coming to an end and i hope to be able to find another job before the new year. that would really make my new year.

the myth

yesterday, i attended my cousin's wedding. before the ceremony, i got to talking to an adult relative who i haven't seen in awhile. he asked me what i was doing, about work and etc. i told him that i am working but that it's part-time (actually less than part-time but i didn't say that). the conversation then got to a point where he started to tell me how at my college graduation he just thought that because i had done well in school and now have a college degree, that i would have no problems getting a good job. he told me how he has friends who applied to hundreds of places before they got a job or the other friend who just got a teaching job at a local university, earning $100k. i asked if his friend got a head of department position. he said no. i turned and asked my other cousin's husband standing with us. he replied, "for tenure positions." yeah. no one gets tenure right out of grad school. out of grad school you would be more than fortunate to get an adjunct position. anyhow, he said i should consider going back to school for a better income. when i told him that a lot of the jobs i've been applying to were in retail he was surprised. he had assumed i was applying to "good jobs." sigh.

a few things he said were good advice. yes, going back to school, incurring more debt, debt bigger than i could imagine, would be worth a bigger income. or is it? unfortunately, he believes in the old saying that a college degree gets you a good job. (darn you, society!) sorry, uncle. it is only true if i had gotten a practical degree. even then not everyone with a practical degree is guaranteed a good job. i also don't agree with just applying to hundreds of jobs. this isn't like entering into a raffle and the more you enter, the higher your chances of winning. you really need to be selective so that you can concentrate on putting together a nice resume/application. getting a job is about your work experience-what kind of experience you have and for how long. (yes, i know. it's about networking, too). however, applying to hundreds of jobs won't get you a job if you don't have the experience and you're competing with other people who do. (this craigslist experiment illustrates my point).

seriously. it is a pain talking about finding a job with people who haven't been through unemployment.

taking care of self.

i've always wanted flawless skin but in the past was never the one who had it. acne is something i've been dealing with since i was a teen. in my adult years now it's not so bad. i just don't like the tiny acne that are all over my face. after doing some research on what french women use (because i've seen their skin), i went to different online outlets comparing milk cleansers, toners, and serums. the last item on their skincare of course was not a product. they also drink plenty of water. something i rarely do. i'm also sure their diet has something to do with it.  strangely enough, not one article i read mentioned anything about a scrub (though it was the scrub that kept my acne away). my skincare regimen right now consists of cleanser, scrub, spot treatment and moisturizer.

i want to try kiehl's other products (i use their moisturizer w/spf) but after going to drugstore.com, came across another brand, boots, with positive reviews.  it's not expensive at all (under $8) though that probably reflects the small size their products come in (5 fl.oz for the toner). i am looking forward to buying on drugstore.com since i have an ebates account (meaning i will get 6% back from all my drugstore.com purchases). i'm also tempted to buy one or two things from avene (a french brand), on drugstore.com because they are having a special promotion on international brands right now: 20% off.

i will probably wait a while before i buy these products. especially since i still have a full tube of scrub to use before i can start up a new regimen that doesn't include scrubs.

etsy finds

 i have been wanting to buy myself a skinny band for awhile now. (top) 14k gold band by colby june, $95 each; (middle) trio of brass rings by rui and aguri, $95, and (bottom) recycled rose gold band by joelle, $66. I like the last one. the band is actually rounded.

it's that time again.

when the elections come around, so does the literature. in california, we get to vote on different propositions, i.e.  how public funds get used, details of a law, among other things. for each proposition on the ballot, there is a cliff's notes version from both sides. at the end of that section is the text of the proposed laws which varies from two pages to ten.

i intend to vote but i haven't opened up the booklet til now (it came in the mail a few weeks ago). will see how much of the reading i'll get done before then.

lyon!

there are a number of fashion/sartorial blogs out there. today i came across one from a girl in lyon. she posts mostly photos of herself in different outfits. i was so excited when i came across her blog mainly because i lived in lyon. sigh... of her recent posts i learned that there is a new burger restaurant in one of the neighborhoods. she quoted the prices for her dishes (around 13€/plate!) . another post was about the opening of a lush store on the main shopping street, republique.  anyhow, why couldn't it have opened while i was there?

her blog is in french. luckily i can still read and understand written french. my spoken and comprehension part, however, not so great as it used to be.

scrumptious

 

 if you ever need ideas for what to make, head over to foodgawker. be warned though. you might drool.

seen & heard on the playground #2

while monitoring little kids on the playground, one of the girls who is sitting on the swings but not swinging yet, looks to me and asks, "can somebody push me?" i then realize i haven't told them my name yet and that i should do that the next time. i think it's funny that the little girl, not knowing my name, referred to me as "somebody" instead of using "you." i told this to my friend and supervisor, who both work inside, and they both giggled.

working with kids

my experience with kids is almost non-existent. before i got to where i am now, i was at ikea. i did not work in småland but i did work a little bit in the kids department. the only time i had to deal with them is when they came up to me because they got separated from their parents. at the club, i work with the kids. i am learning as i go. of course there are things i'm not aware of or that i forgot regarding working with children. i am aware that i am in a supervisory role. i need to help keep an eye out for things going on on the playground. even though i don't work at a school, i learned at a staff meeting that everyone who works in a childcare setting is held by law to report any suspicions they might have regarding sexual abuse of any student (mandated reporting). before the utterance of those words, i still saw myself as a babysitter. after however, i saw my responsibility in a whole new, scary light. of course, there will be something like this going on in homes that we have to keep our eyes open to. unfortunately, this is the dark side of working with kids.

my schedule

since i've started drawing again, this is what my daily activity schedule looks like (esp, on weekends):

- offline: make drawings, photograph

- online: slowly build up social networks, connect with other creative types

then of course, my weekly schedule involves work, volunteering, job searching, internet research. my priorities are supposed to be job searching and drawing but at the moment feels like drawing and everything else in a jumbled second place.

from the past couple of days (and today)...

words that can move mountains

my whole life, i believe, (or at least a good part of it) i have been a "can't do" person. whenever an obstacle presented itself, a lot of times i would think "i can't do this" or "i don't have enough experience/the right experience/money/whatever (in order to do something). i've said too many negatives. i only realize it now that just by saying "i can't do ..." automatically shuts our minds, our energy, and motivation to doing something. i've heard a few people tell me in the past that i'm too negative but i never really thought too much about it. that's just the way i was.

in the not too distant past, i was talking to a friend from college about my new found career path (international development). she told me i should go join the peace corps as the experience will prove to me whether that's something i really want to do or not. of course, i got scared. joining the peace corps was not part of my plans. i told her i don't think i can do 2 years. she suggested i do 6 months. i then came up with an excuse for not doing it. ever since that conversation, my interest in that field has waned. at the time i was starting to study for the gre but i have since stopped. 

i know i have heard the following words/advice at least once somewhere before but i have forgotten about it until now. those words are: how can i ...? instead of thinking "i can't do this" and killing the idea instantly, "how can i do this?" unlocks everything. "how can i do this?" leads to answers.  it's similar to the other words we've heard many times before: we can do anything we set our minds to. however, that was always easier said than done.  "how can i do this?" makes you think about how to overcome an obstacle, step by step. the other set of words gave no direction or advice on how to actually accomplish what we believe and want to set our minds to. only a part of the population knows how to implement those words. for others, like myself, they are just words.

i wish i had these words pop up in my mind those few months ago when i was talking to my friend or after that conversation. i would have then realized that joining the peace corps was not my only option to getting my feet wet in the field. i was already aware of other programs out there but for some reason i didn't think about it.

kiddie moments

when you work with elementary school-aged kids, it opens up your mind. i say this because with teenagers, everyone remembers what it's like to be a teenager. they think they know everything and they just bug but with little kids, parts of their behavior you recognize but then does anyone remember what it was like at that age? probably not. they say and do things that just makes you understand things from a different perspective.

- back in late spring, i was helping my executive director with a project. i had to ask the kids about their experiences at the club. one of the questions i asked to one third or fourth grade student was, how do you think your volunteering will help you in the future? his response, "i don't know." i then tried to rephrase that question. his response was still, "i don't know." that's when i realized, oh! he's too young to think about the future. little kids don't think that far ahead. maybe to the end of the week if they have something fun to do but to think about something 5 or 10 years down the line, no.

- yesterday at work, during homework time, i went around the first and second grade group. one of the kids, little miss sunshine #2, a first grader, needed help. she had to read a passage but it had to be timed. she started to read. outloud. since she was sitting at a table with other kids, i asked her if she could read quietly, in her head. she said, "no." i'm not sure if it's just her or maybe little kids her age can't do things like that yet.

- during this same homework time, if kids are done with homework they are then to do worksheets and then find a book to read. a few weeks ago when i first started helping out with this activity, i noticed little miss shy sitting with her seat turned around (so she's not facing the table). she had her book upright on her lap, facing away from her and she was reading the book as if there was a group sitting in front of her. in other words, she was pretending to be a teacher. it was so adorable. she still does that sometimes. yeah, she's at that age where she mimics adults.

more drawings

i've been collecting pieces of nature on my walk to work. i get a lot of inspiration from her.

in the bottom one, the color is off and i couldn't figure out how to correct it in photoshop. will probably have to buy a professional grade scanner in the future.

creating, again

watercolor and pencil on paper, 3" x 5"

i started this project (of drawing and painting) some time last year. i made a few pieces and then got distracted by other things like job hunting. i hope i manage to stay on track this time. i'd like to just keep doing this. i really miss creating these drawings. i will post them on the blog as i make them. i do have plans for them and i'll share that when the time comes.

mr. smalls

continuing on the subject of little miss and mr. men, i'd like to introduce another "character." i call him mr. smalls. he is the smallest boy in first grade. he comes dressed everyday in hip hop style: an l.a. baseball cap one size too big, a t-shirt also a little too big, sneakers and jeans (his jeans are thankfully not baggy). i'm sure his parents dress him or maybe an older brother. mr. smalls is too cute for words. luckily he does not have a hip hop attitude to go with his style. he's still just a first grader. anyhow, what makes him too cute for words is that on top of his personal style he is also missing his front teeth. when he talks, it makes me smile and giggle. being toothless in the front makes him say everything with a hissy sound. sometimes i don't understand the words he's saying so i just turn to a colleague and ask if she understood him. it just makes me think, "mr. smalls, you just lost your street cred when you smiled. good thing, you're only in first grade."

missed connections

i've read these little stories on craigslist before. most are strangers who crossed paths. a few are of someone writing about how they realized the other person that they are no longer with, was the one. it always breaks my heart to read those even though i don't know who the person is.

today i had my own missed connection. i was walking home from one end of the town center (a shopping center) to the other end which is the way out of the center and towards home. on my way out of the center i would have to pass a walmart. a guy exits the store. i only see his back as he is walking in the same direction i am. immediately his style is familiar. the guy i like at work (who left back in the beginning of the summer) has the same style: dark skinny-ish jeans, black shoes, dark t-shirt, and a dark beanie (guy's knit cap). the guy in front of me today is a bit leaner than the guy at work. also a few inches taller. seeing this guy immediately brought back my feelings for the guy at work. back at the town center, this guy keeps walking and then turns the corner where i would be going too. i assume he parked his car there. i stop to take off my jacket to wrap it around my waist before getting to the corner as it was hot. as i turn the corner, he is not in sight. walking out of the town center and heading towards the street corner i see him. he is crossing the street but in a different direction i'll be taking. he enters the coffee bean on that corner. i want to follow him but i have two bags of groceries with me. i head home.

perhaps it is better that i don't know what this guy's face looks like but just seeing the semblance brought back strong feelings. the guy at work i have not seen since he left. i have been hoping that he would come visit the two kids he cared for at work but he hasn't shown up yet.

sometimes i wonder about these kind of happenings. the universe is strange sometimes.

seen & heard on the playground

stepping out to the playground the other day, a bunch of first, second, and third grade boys were playing soccer. they saw me and pointed towards the sky, shouting, "rainbow! rainbow!" i turned around and there was a rainbow. the sky was grey and threatening to rain that whole day. it probably did in some parts of the city. after turning back around, i thought to myself, well, that will be the last time a bunch of boys will say that to me. interesting to see what they see at this age.

wishlist

beautiful, isn't it?  this oval bezel ring ($265) is by blanca monros gomez and one day i would like to buy myself one.

book review or two

my life recently has been about trying to get out of a rut. it's been very hard on me. fortunately, i have been able to climb myself out of it. two books have crossed my path and i don't think it was by coincidence. as i went to the library to print out my resume, i walked down the aisles by the copy machines. i found myself in the "you can do it/think big" aisle. out of the several books that i wanted to check out, i decided to go with "make the impossible possible" by bill strickland. it is an excellent example of how the author broke out of societies expectations and labels to do great things with his life. he did not let his background (poor) or skin color (black) to hold him back. of course, when he was younger things were a different story but through events in his teen years, he saw that those things were not real limitations. from that day forward, he never looked back. by following his heart he has changed his community and many lives by helping them get good jobs--jobs that could lift the person and their family out of poverty.

the second book, i just picked up a few weeks ago, is titled, "the traveler's gift: seven decisions that determine personal success" by andy andrews. this book was calling out to me more than the first one. this, though, non-fiction, is written really well in a way that it teaches the reader a few important lessons about how to attain personal success. ironically, it was a response to some of the complaints that i had written about a few posts back regarding what to do with my life.

i highly recommend both books and i know if i ever meet anyone who is going through what i am going through, i will tell them to read these books.

little miss and mr. men

i decided a few weeks ago to fill up some of my available days during the week with volunteer work at the club. i realized that had i done this a year ago, i might have been given more hours to work with the kids. instead i just decided to keep to my office work and when the time came to hire more people for the summer, i knew i had missed an opportunity.

working with little kids (first - third graders) is not easy. once in awhile i will start thinking about how cute some of them are, then the next moment i'm shouting at them to stop playing while they're standing in line. because i don't look like an adult, i don't have their respect yet (i'm working on it).

since they are small i've decided to nickname them which brings me to the title of this post: little miss and mr. men. since these are little kids i work with, the title little miss and mr. men are perfect for them. there's one second grader who is chubby and adorable. she rarely does her homework and is often disobedient. she also already has an attitude. therefore a name like little miss attitude suits her well.then there's little miss shy. she's a little bit smaller than the other first graders. she's quiet and is often found wandering around the club playing by herself. today my supervisor came out to the park (just outside the building) and told me about little miss shy's wandering tendencies and to please, keep an eye on her. there's also two little miss sunshines. they are both blonde haired and adorable. little miss sunshine #1 has been a member for a couple years now. she is always seen with a soda or ice cream stain around her mouth. little miss sunshine #2 is new. she has a round face and today she tattle tailed on the boys who were sitting at her table. (i wish i could take pictures of them but it's not permitted.)

i have to admit the first two days (i started last week) working with the kids i felt lost and wondered what i was doing there, thinking to myself, "i need to get another job." that feeling is now gone and i feel more at ease now. (though i am still looking for another job.) however, there is stuff i need to learn including disciplining them, boundaries, etc. i feel like i've been trying to go after every misbehavior when everyone else only calls out the really bad incidents.

i also signed up to volunteer at an elementary school in my neighborhood. one of the first grade teachers called me last week to see if i was interested in helping her in the classroom with a reading activity. i won't be starting that until the week after next. i'm currently taking a yoga class that conflicts with her schedule. hopefully i'll be less tired once my yoga class is over. right now right after class, i have to go home, take a short break and then head out to work which is tiring since i commute on foot and by bus.

hungry?

photo from yelp member, ticha

i just read a post my friend made on facebook regarding something she just ate. what my friend just ate was a pupusa. i never tried them before but i know i've passed by restaurants that make them (pupuserias) in downtown l.a. usually and were curious as to what they are. according to this article from the la weekly blog,

Pupusas are cheap and cheerful, exceptionally hearty, stuffed and griddled disks of slaked cornmeal or rice flour that originated in El Salvador.[...]

 We learned three very important things when sampling them across L.A. The first is that there are five standard fillings to choose from: beans, cheese, minced pork (chicharrón, which is ground pork in this case, and not fried skin), loroco (a type of vine flower) and revuelta, which consists of beans, cheese and pork. And while the beans will for sure have lard, the masa itself won't, so this is a perfect vegetarian meal if you order correctly.

yup, now i will be thinking about them when hanging out and someone asks, what to eat?

this is the second ethnic cuisine/dish that i've been all of a sudden wanting to try. the first was indian food. i live very close to an indian community. i've never ventured to go eat there but after one of my friends visited vij's in canada, i looked up indian food and restaurants and thus began my list.

old memories

I found these souvenirs in another souvenir (a tote from edinburgh). yup, i pretty much saved everything, even receipts. notice the mcdonalds logo? i was told macdonalds had gone green in parts of europe. i think germany (probably the greenest european country) started it. although i'm not sure how they are green.

the last image is of my expense booklet. i think the booklet was made for teachers but it works well to record expenses, too. i was on a tight little budget so this helped me stay within it. i loved recording my expenses in there and it's one of my fondest memories.

une chambre de bonne

this goes along with the previous post where i mentioned a blog by the title of tales from the chambre de bonne. a chambre de bonne is a tiny studio-like space up on the top floor of parisian apartment buildings. therefore it is the least expensive room in the building though this is paris, so it's still expensive. it is translated to be the maid's room (perhaps a long time ago that was it's purpose).

so googled i did, and came across this on apartment therapy. a couple had transformed two chambres de bonne that they owned into one guest apartment. it is adorable.

images from apartment therapy.

choose happiness

i came across another blogger's post with the same title. the author is an italian-new yorker living in paris. (this is her blog.) the title describes me at the moment. life has been a roller coaster but mostly a kiddie roller coaster. there has been no highs since i returned from france. at least nothing on an exciting scale. the lows however have been low.

recently, i started to think positively (again). i started to appreciate the smaller things more (even though i've always liked the smaller things). i'm currently taking a yoga class twice a week in the morning (a positive side of being partially employed). i think this is going to be good for me in the long run. it will help create a routine and because it's a morning class, help me move away from sleeping in on the days i don't work. thinking positively is working so far.

as far as my career path, i've put the whole idea of going into international development on hold. i'm not sure about it anymore. i've been waiting for guidance (intuition) on which step to take next but nothing happens. i don't feel anything about pursuing a degree in this field anymore which isn't a good thing. tomorrow, i'm going to look into another possible career path which will involve volunteering, again. we'll see how that goes.

also, i have come across a few blogs of americans living in paris. tales from the chambre de bonne, the one mentioned earlier in the post, is one of them. i recommend it if you like humor, the other is je parle americain. i had stopped following american expats in paris blogs for awhile. a few just wasn't the type of blog i was looking for. for a few, the authors had moved. i think reading these two blogs will help me to dream again.

mispronounced names

for someone like myself, my first and last name (especially my last name) is difficult to pronounce. sometimes i don't bother telling people how to pronounce my last name (and once i let my prof in college mispronounce my first name for an entire quarter). i've even given an easier pronunciation of my last name in college.

today while catching up on ask a manager, she mentioned that she saw a colleague with a button under her email signature that states, "hear my name." her colleague used audio name. you can call the service, in your own voice, record the correct pronunciation of your name, and use that wherever needed (more so in business communications, i'm assuming). what a great idea. it is for use on online social networking sites (and anywhere else online that you need. although a link to one's name on a business card could also be something to consider.)

hiding gaps on resumes

gaps are always icky. no one likes them on a resume. mine are pretty big - and it was all my doing. after i sent in my resume, i did some research on what to keep on a resume and what to leave off. the expert, a hiring manager, said that your resume is a marketing tool and should only have things on there that will make you look good. kinda obvious. however, after looking at my resume (which had already been sent just a few minutes ago), i realized mine did not fit that description. i was horrified. the resume i had sent was written last year when i had no relevant work experience. i was applying for an internship. a year later, i now have that internship, my volunteer experience and current job (same) to list. the resume i sent was like someone wearing a tight shirt and did not have a fit body: it just shows all the lumps and bumps or with my resume, my employment gaps. oy.

for the second resume i sent out, because i decided to delete the volunteer section of my resume and combine that under the work experience section, i now have no gaps on my resume. yes, my work history only goes back to last year (?) but there are no gaps. my point is if you have a employment gap, before it gets big, go volunteer (find something relevant) while looking for work.

as for the expert i was talking about earlier, her name is alison green and she has a blog, ask a manager. it has tons of information. (maybe more suited for north americans). i love reading the comments because the other readers share their experiences and insight. it is very helpful.

what i've been waiting for

today, i decided to turn my job search in a different direction. until today, i always looked for jobs similar to what i'm doing now: entry level office work and data entry. from my online research, i looked into an area that i had not considered before. the advice was to look into the things that you do without thinking at work but isn't part of your job description (because it points to what you're good at). for me that is research. (also, i love solving problems but not technical problems or problems that need a master's degree to solve. i just like to solve problems to make things run more efficiently.) so i looked through one online job search engine. i scrolled through several pages of medical research positions and computer science-related research positions, and others that required a very technical degree or knowledge. finally, i saw something interesting. the position ended up being not a good match  but i looked up the company anyway. they are a nonprofit "research, development, and service agency, [that] works with education and other communities to promote excellence, achieve equity, and improve learning for children, youth, and adults." i can not tell you how excited i was after reading that. i currently work at a local branch of a nonprofit that deals with something very similar:  after school care and programming for k-12 students and this nonprofit is more on the research end of things.

so i look on their website. they have a branch not far from where i work now. problem is, that branch does not have a human resources department. the only way to apply is to apply online for a posted position and that would get sent to their headquarters in san francisco. there is only a postal address but i don't think sending my resume would be appropriate. there isn't an open position that pertains to me yet. luckily, i have someone to ask about this. just sent her an email.

anyhow,  i looked up their current employees. (there's a list on their website.) one person started out at the organization doing what i'm doing now (data entry). at the end of the bio it stated his degree and alma mater. his bachelors degree was in drama (mine was in studio art) and he went to the same university i did. (how bizarre). at least i know i qualify for the position i want (that it doesn't require a master's degree).

now i just have to get to work on crafting my cover letter.

update: i went to bed and realized i couldn't just send in my resume. i would have to wait for something to open. the person i asked said the same thing. still, a breakthrough in my job search.

life + relocating

i'm not relocating. i was just visiting the website of the art space i interned at last year. the woman who hired me is no longer working there. i checked to see maybe she had found another job somewhere else or is working full-time as an artist. i found her linkedin profile. she has moved to berlin to work on her artistic career. wow. i think it's so cool when someone does that. another friend moved from northern california to oklahoma for an internship and later, a job.

i know. i did this, too. it just feels so long ago. i can't do that at the moment. not enough money and too many obligations at home.

the cbox

a cbox is an instant messaging box that appears in your blog's sidebar. many years ago, when i had a modblog, i had one such thing. it was actually designed into modblog, though. for some reason there were always other bloggers stopping by and saying hello or commenting on something in the modblog community. the instant chat box served its purpose well.

this one is an independent box that has to be added to your blog. i want to add one but don't know if one will be used enough over here. sometimes reading other blogs, i know i just want to say hi or make a comment/have a question unrelated to any post, a cbox would be perfect for that. considering i don't have a link for others to forward comments to my email, a cbox might be good.

a similar platform is shoutmix. this one does not offer a free service. it has a nicer look, though.

cover letters and resumes

though i love the place i work at and the people, the hours are not enough. i've always been looking for a second job though not always actively going after it. a lot of the places i've applied to were retailers. not a place i want to go back to at all but i had no choice with my work experience.

only recently did it occur to me that i now have enough experience and something to offer to even write a cover letter. when you have very little work experience your cover letters just ends up repeating your resume which is not what you're supposed to do. that was a part of my problem in the past. so here i am. i just created a more professional email address and spent a few days trying to come up with a stand out cover letter. the cover letter itself i wrote in the body of the message.  i finally finished it. i test sent it to myself more than a few dozen times until hotmail told me i had reached my limit for emails sent in a day (never even knew there was a limit) but i fixed that by giving them my phone number which i never wanted to do (they promised not to give it away to third parties). copying and pasting from word document is a big disaster--everything becomes double spaced once it's sent! for my resume, i just sent it as an attachment.

so i just sent it in. in two weeks i will call the hiring person. also nerve wracking. then it's just waiting. hopefully something will open up in the future and i will come to mind.

i have a few more places i want to send it to, too. once all that's done, time to go back to studying for the graduate exam.

american studies

throughout my graduate school research of schools in europe, i came across an interesting program of study:  american studies. it's so odd, from an american perspective, to see it being offered. (in the u.s., a select number of schools also offer american studies which i was completely unaware of...)

today as i was looking into the university of utrecht i came across their american studies masters program. they have a school blog as well as a blog of one of the students. most of the students who contribute to the school's blog have had an internship in the u.s. in different sectors. it's interesting to see what career paths these students are pursuing as the first question that came to mind was what kind of career does one go into with a degree in american studies? for american students with a u.s. history degree it was always thought that there were only a few career paths: politics and academia. these european students, however, seem to have figured it out and are going into all these different areas that i would have never thought of.

reading the one blog that belongs to one of their most recent graduates, i learned what students of an american studies major call themselves (or at least this girl considers herself): an americanist.

career-update

i realized for my work in the nonprofit sector, my place is in admin.  I would like to work in HQ as opposed to working in the field (though i would like to be able to go out to the field, too). i came upon this conclusion based on my current job and from what i have envisioned for myself for the longest time. my current job is doing data entry. before i got this job i used to think data entry as a boring job. it might be if i only had to work with numbers. however, the data i work with is non-numeric. i can actually make sense of it, i know what it deals with, i can see how it helps the nonprofit. it is interesting to me. as far as what i envisioned, i always wanted to work and live abroad--in europe. so i put these two things together and that is where i'm at now. it does affect my school choices a bit. i will still have to study international development in some way but it might be as a concentration instead of the major. i might be going into nonprofit management (though i do not intend to manage a nonprofit - still working it out).

another thing i realized is that if i do my graduate work at a part-time schedule, it will take me 3-4 years to finish(!) the flip side is that it will give me more time to intern and i will have enough professional experience by the time i graduate to find a good job. not a bad trade-off.

summer tracklist

don't want to go to sleep though i am tired. loving the songs that pandora is playing for me on my edward sharpe & the magnificent zeros station.

fresh feeling, the eels
home, edward sharpe & the magnificent zeros
two weeks (radio mix), grizzly bear
dream a little dream of me, the mamas and the papas
vinca rosea (instrumental), mf doom
basic space, the xx
40 day dream, edward sharpe & the magnificent zeros
black & blue, miike snow
heartbreaker, mstrcrft
ghostwriter, rjd2

good advice

i came across this blog post, 10 ways i sabotaged my success and how to avoid my mistakes, and though the author was writing about entrepreneurship, his advice can be applied to just about anything. reading through his list, i know i'm guilty of just about all the mistakes he's made himself (particularly concentrating on too many things at once).

time standing still

that's what june felt like and now july is feeling that way, too. i can't help but think that i should use this time to really think about what i should be doing next.

what now?

i went out with one of my friends yesterday. we got to talking and i told her about my plans for grad school. as we talked she would stop to tell me that i don't sound passionate about my career aspirations. i told her that that's because i have no previous experience working in international development. that i don't know where my place is in this. how does one become passionate about something you've never done before? i remember she wasn't passionate about going into teaching either when she first started. (i had asked her then if she's always wanted to teach. she said, no). anyhow, she then suggested i try the peace corps to get my feet wet to see if this is something i really want to do. i told her 2 years is too much for me. i could do 6 months, maybe 1 year. she then suggested i go for 6 months or however long i could stay and then if it's not for me then i can leave. otherwise, i know it would give me that experience and it may answer the questions that i have right now.

throwing peace corps into the mix now makes me more confused about what my next step should be. it isn't a bad idea. it makes a lot of sense but it will push me back another 2 or 3 years. sigh.

a new chapter

today i went to barnes & noble and bought a book on the g.r.e. test prep. as i was flipping through each book i couldn't help but feel like, "wow. this is it. i am going to grad school. this is the next big chapter of my life." exciting.  first though i have to take the g.r.e.

i have continued to do research on schools.  i came across this awesome european program for humanitarian aid that involves 7 universities around the world. the program itself is only 16 months long. there are 4 semesters or quarters, i think. the first week of the program the students take off to the university of warsaw for an intensive program. they then return to do the first semester at their home university.  the first semester is the same at all participating universities. the second semester you apply to another school and study there. you then come back to the home university for your third semester, however, you can also go to another university, if you wish. during the summer you go do research abroad supervised by professors. the last semester you work on your theses.  the school i'm looking at is the university college of dublin. tuition is less than american schools but after i added in the price of this special program plus the graduate diploma (which i will need to get before admission to the masters program) plus cost of living for three years, it's just as expensive as its american counterparts.  another thing i don't understand yet is that each semester, you take around 6 classes?! i wonder if the classes are as intensive as the classes in american universities.

although it seems like i have already determined my course of study, i haven't. international development or humanitarian studies? some schools offer humanitarian studies as almost a minor, there are a few classes regarding this study. other schools don't offer humanitarian studies at all. sigh.

pisces

being born a pisces can be frustrating at times. sometimes very frustrating. we are undecisive peoples - but only sometimes. out of all the fish's characteristics, that one frustrates me the most. i once spent two hours deciding between two backpacks. having options is not always a good thing for us. now my new dilemma are all the options for grad school that i have. a) i could apply to grad school, then go to france in the meantime, then start grad school. b) i could apply to this school's certificate program (it's four classes), then apply for a master's degree at another school after. c) this school offers everything i could want in a program but its one of the most expensive schools out there. d) i want to study french but what if i can't defer enrollment...the questions and options are endless.

the last time i had to make a major decision (it was about my most recent trip to france), i had done a ton of research in the four years leading up to it. i would have to say it was the best choice and maybe my only choice (it was either that or not go and continue to be miserable).

in the meantime, i will need to study. i will need to learn how to write research papers all over again. i am currently studying how to write better. next i will need to study for the g.r.e. then i will need to think about what to write for my letter of intent. even more difficult will be trying to find professors who can write a rec letter for me - i studied art; that might be a problem. my cousin suggested one of my professors from the language school school in france. i hope that will be good enough. if not, i was thinking trying to get a hold of one of my art history professors. i hope, again, that i still have one of the papers i wrote for her class somewhere.

vegan

for reasons too complicated to explain, i have agreed to go vegan once a week. for the rest of my life. no, this wasn't a dare. i will unofficially begin probably this week just to get used to it. i also just have to remember when the day comes, that that day is vegan. i figured this shouldn't be a problem to stick to. it's only 3 meals a week. breakfast for me is usually a bread, fruit or grain. lunch and dinner is where i have to think. fortunately i live close to a trader joe's; they have vegan frozen foods. yippee!

of course, it might become a problem in the future. should i find myself living with a host family in a culture that doesn't know about the vegan culture... will have to figure out something.

i figured if i publish this, i have to do it. it's a good way to get yourself to do something.

what to do.

i have been struggling with what to do for so long.  do i do what other people want me to do? (they want me to find more work.) of course, a part of me also wants that.  i would like to have money to go shopping. i would like to have money to spend on a friend's wedding next year (it's out-of-state). i know getting more work isn't going to be enough money to do great things with my life, but it'll allow me to put a little bit back into my bank account. i know i haven't been putting 100% into getting another job. another part of me wants to just stop looking for work and put the rest of my energy into volunteering or interning.  i would like to squeeze in as much nonprofit experience as i can. was just reading a few requirements for some of the grad schools. most mention they would like applicants to have nonprofit work experience and not just that but with increasing responsibilities. the work that i do isn't difficult (data entry plus any other assignments anyone may need help with). i have added another dimension to my work by assisting with grant research and writing. though that is still not enough. next week, i will be volunteering at another nonprofit. this nonprofit has more to do with international relief and humanitarian aid which is closer to what i want to do...

still, i'm torn. i feel like i need to please the people around me and i can't figure out what to do. i've wasted enough time putting many days of my week aside hoping that i can fill it with another job. now i'm thinking i should just forget looking for another job (unlike others, i don't pay rent and i don't have a car to pay for). as of right now, the club is about to start its summer program. i know i will be getting at least one more day of work each week. i'm thinking after the summer program ends in mid august, i should throw myself into the other nonprofit completely--by that time i hope to begin an internship and i know that that has to be at least two days a week.  i'm hoping that graduate admissions committee will see my commitment to this line of work (i especially have to prove myself since my bachelors degree was in something completely unrelated to what i want to do now. the only other way i can prove myself is through the GRE, which is a lot more difficult to do.)  unfortunately this means i won't have money to save up towards grad school or going back to france. or anything really. (with grad school, i'll definitely be applying for financial aid. for france, i'll be ok with taking out a loan for that, too).  ideally, i would prefer to have a second job and squeeze in the new volunteer work/internship.

grad school

there are a few things that i've been preoccupied with lately.  one is grad school. or doing research for it, anyway. i know i won't be applying for the next school year. definitely not ready yet. all the programs i like belong to prestigious schools: columbia university, syracuse university, george washington university, uc berkeley. my top choice right now is columbia. the only problem is i'm not sure i can handle their coursework. columbia only has a full-time program. i'm not someone who can read through text quickly and retain all that information. sigh. i really like their program.  it's very thorough. plus it's in nyc where one can find many big non-governmental agencies, the united nations, and the like.  very convenient and i'm sure the rent is also very convenient.

columbia and a few other schools have a foreign language requirement.  at columbia one must pass up to second year with a B or better. feels like undergrad allover again. i remember what studying foreign language in college is like. i might have passed it with a B but i know i was still pretty weak at it. the two years spent studying french in college i would rank myself at closer to a beginning level.  comprehension was just not there. still at another school, it requires three years of foreign language study with a B or better. to me, studying a foreign language outside of its native country is a waste of time unless you are really good at studying foreign languages like my college best friend. she learned to speak spanish very well from her high school spanish classes. i wish i could do that. unfortunately for everyone else, our level of fluency is not functional if you found yourself at work around native speakers of a foreign language. what exactly do i plan to do? :) if i get into a school with a foreign language requirement (and even if i get into a school with no foreign language requirement), i am going to go back to france. then i will attain the level of french that i need and i will get it done in under a year. another plus is that i will have four classes out of the way and i can take other courses. however i may have to defer enrollment by a year to do so, too.

why am i even looking into grad school? i don't want to be stuck at entry-level forever. my other option is the peace corps but that's not for me. though it is amazing how the peace corps has been able to boost a lot of its participants' careers. i even came across one university program that incorporates the peace corps into its curriculum. i believe you do the first year at home, then take off for peace corps (2 years), and then come home to finish the last year. amazing. maybe a bit overachieving.

so that's where my plans are at now.

my life is on loop

there is not much going on in my life.  i am still trying to find a second job.  had an interview the other day at macy's but did not get it. i have emailed another nonprofit to see if i can volunteer in their office doing the same thing there as i do at my current job.  i hope to do that for a few months and then transition into their operations internship.  ultimately hoping that i will get a part-time job offer from them as well.  that would be awesome.

the part of my life that is playing on loop right now is regarding a guy at work.  he likes me. i like him (though he doesn't know that--that's where the problem lies). anyway, we don't work in the same part of the building and we especially don't work together.  we just don't have many opportunities to talk. most of the time, i have the hardest time saying anything to him. this is what each day is like:  everyday that i work he comes in to work in the afternoon, makes his phone call and we exchange a "hi."  he hasn't tried to start a conversation with me. again, not much opportunity for that.  sometimes he finds an excuse to come into the office (make photocopies, print something, etc) but says nothing (maybe i intimidate him?).

i've told my cousin about the situation. she says maybe he would say more if i asked him, "how are you?", too.  (i am somewhat socially awkward). i'm thinking he may be afraid of rejection which is why he hasn't asked me out yet. i really wish i could talk to him as easily as i do everybody else but unfortunately that is not happening.

this part of my life has been going on since february.  i have an idea of when it could happen though.  according to one annual horoscope i found, it says nothing significant will happen regarding love, until this autumn. sigh.

public bike sharing is coming to l.a.!

digital rendering of a bike sharing station in l.a. - love the design of the bike.  image by bike nation

a velo'v bike sharing station in lyon, france.

i can't believe it.  i've only heard how the city wants to do this but i didn't think it would be happening this soon.  we just don't have the money for it.  now it is happening thanks to a private company, bike nation.  i just hope the bikes look better than the velib of paris.  unfortunately this is not county-wide, yet.  they are only concentrating on four areas right now: hollywood, westwood, venice, and downtown.  4,ooo bikes.  their rates are similar to other bike sharing systems around the world:  $6 for the day, $1.50 for an hour or $4.50 for 90 minutes. Trips shorter than 30 minutes will be free; one-year passes will run $75.  yes, i know these bike sharing systems also have to worry about theft which is why there is a tracking device built in each bike and a registration fee involved for each bike rider -- just like in other cities that implement this bike sharing system.  even if you just want to ride it for a few hours you have to register first and the registration fee is around $300 (the price of one good bike).

here's the whole story.

they laugh...

went to my cousin's house yesterday.  our older cousin then stopped by.  we all went out to grab a snack.  before leaving i asked my cousin if he could teach me to drive his car (it has a manual transmission).

he sort of chuckled and then asked my other cousin, "remember what she [I] told me about why she wants to learn to drive a stick shift?"

my younger cousin then responded with a laugh and said "because she wants to work in africa and they have to drive stick there." 

um...yes, it sounds far-fetched in a world they live in - in the suburb or major city.  however, i didn't imagine any of this up.  i was serious about that.  i did my research.  many people who work in international development or humanitarian aid, if they live and work in a developing country, drive a stick shift.  at usaid, all new employees are trained to drive a stick shift if they don't already know how. 

my younger cousin then added, "it's probably because the roads there are unpaved."  duh.

can't believe they laughed at my dream. [shakes head in disappointment.]

another step

lately i've been looking into another volunteer opportunity...instead of applying for jobs.  sigh. i had contacted a hospice a few cities away, who had advertised a volunteer opportunity doing similar things i'm doing now at the club. they haven't emailed me back yet.  so i kept looking for other volunteer gigs. today, i came across a few more organizations in need of help in the office. most are too far away though. then i came across this nonprofit not too far away that need help sorting through donated medical supplies. this time i got a glimpse of their mission statement and it turns out a lot of the supplies that need to be sorted are to be shipped off to developing countries. it was then i realized this is the volunteer opportunity i should be doing.  in addition, this nonprofit also offers internships in a few areas i would love to participate in, one of which is logistics (i will come back to that later).

before i go on, i have to back track.  in the summer of 2010, i was looking at the posting for the volunteer opportunity at the club.  i didn't start volunteering there until april of the following year.  however, before i came across that opportunity i had stumbled across the volunteer opportunity for this nonprofit.  for some reason, i didn't read far enough in their mission statement. though at the time, i didn't know yet that i would want to work for an international nonprofit/humanitarian aid sector. i looked into this volunteer opportunity of sorting through things but it didn't seem a very good use of my time, the bus ride would be too long just to go sort through supplies. i ended passing this opportunity up and kept looking.

back to their logistics internship, i would love to learn this. if they tell me, i can't then i won't mind volunteering in their store or in the office.  either way i'm going to learn something.  i am pretty excited and i haven't even sent them an inquiry yet. why am i excited about a logistics internship.  awhile ago i was reading blogs from people who have gone to work on missions for the international red cross in different countries around the world.  it seemed like something i would love to do one day.  however, there are only a few positions that they recruit for:  medical personnel, admin/h.r., and logistics.  i am not a doctor, nurse, or surgeon. i'm working on my admin experience but have no h.r.  and logistics?  along with admin/hr, a logistics person is needed in most international nonprofits who deal with sending crews/supplies to foreign lands.

now the only thing i need to figure out is how many days do i want to go in.  the nonprofit might have a minimum service requirement per week.  then i still have to find a second job.  maybe this will just be like my experience at the club:  a job will come from volunteering.

flats

update:  i had no idea i accidentally posted this here (3 times??!!!).   i actually have similar pieces in my wardrobe and wore it as an outfit. the shoes, especially, i have.  they are from old navy and are quite comfortable. i am not a flashy person when it comes to style so if i own anything with leopard print on it, it would make sense that they would be shoes. now that i think of it, this outfit reminds me of paris.

a few of the outfits i've created on polyvore are outfits i have worn with similar pieces.

losing sight of the future.

more than a year ago when i had realized my career path was to be in the non-profit sector, i started thinking about my next steps.  it was a very general idea but i was able to project several years into the future.  the first step was to get a job.  when that came to fruition, it still wasn't enough.  however, it was strange.  the picture i had imagined had disappeared soon after i was hired.  i still don't know why.  maybe because that path that i had imagined last year wasn't relevant anymore.  maybe i am supposed to go down a different path. i didn't think too much about trying to stick to that path.  i felt i was supposed to just stay where i am for a few years and in that time i will eventually know what my next step will be.

tonight i took another look at my old plan.  one of the next steps was to intern for a humanitarian aid non-profit.  looking at their internships, many require knowledge of the field of world affairs, international relations or international development.  something i have no knowledge of.  a few other knowledge require a good command of written and spoken english.  communication isn't one of my strengths.  in a work environment i am pretty quiet.  my writing skills are not strong enough to write grant proposals.  sigh. then there is the master's degree requirement.  eventually that is what i'll have to do - go back to school for a graduate degree.

with all this in mind, if i just continue to go with the flow, how long will it take me to arrive at my destination?  do i jump ahead and apply to grad school within the next two years now or wait and apply after five years of entry-level non-profit work and internships?  i'm currently working at a non-profit that deals with children from under-served communities and education at a local level though the non-profit is also national.  at this point i really don't know if i'm supposed to be going the international route or if my career will keep me at the local and national levels only.  how do you plan for the future when you don't know?  if i just stay the current path and i don't get a full-time position or more hours soon, then i will need a second job just so i can save up for the future.  doesn't soon too great.  how do i apply for grad school without feeling strongly or knowing well enough what i want to do?  the future is nowhere in sight.

beautiful things

i am currently helping my cousin look for a wedding dress.  i come across this one article online. in this article it lists online mass retailers who have a wedding line. one of the ones i didn't know about is anthropologie. their wedding collection is actually called bhldn (i have no idea what that stands for). the dresses are just beautiful-- the style is vintage, romantic. well... i don't know if my cousin is into the vintage look but i am. will definitely keep this in mind for when my time comes :)

what my twenties taught me

now in my early 30s, i can look back at the last decade. my twenties, as stated in my mini profile, was filled with school, work, and travel. it was a trying decade especially because of my quarter-life crisis that lasted several years. as in all difficulties in life, you are left with a valuable lesson afterwards. in no particular order, these are the lessons that i've learned from my twenties:

1. follow your heart/listen to that little voice. 

 i could have avoided my quarter-life crisis altogether if i had done just that. i thought for sure, there was no sign.  i really didn't know what i want to do with my life. only after returning from france, and from the opportunity given from my unemployed situation at the time, i decided i would finally do what i wanted to do but couldn't when i was employed: take an excel and photoshop class and volunteer. i started volunteering after my classes were done--in april of last year.  i was actually thinking about it since the summer before but the heat was too much for me to walk through and i hate tihe heat.  my intention was to only volunteer doing some office work to pick up some work experience that i didn't have. then go and try to find work. i only planned on being there until the summer.  a few months later, i realized i needed more than 3 months of experience to be competitive so i told my supervisor i would be there for a few months longer. 

around the same time, i had an epiphany:  this is where i'm supposed to be: at a nonprofit. i had finally figured out my career path.  realizing this also made me mad.  the little voice had been telling me to go volunteer ever since my last years of college.  i just could never find anything close enough.  i just thought i was supposed to go volunteer for a few weeks and that would be it. had no idea it would lead me to my career. i'm finally here, though. it's square one. i still have a long way to go. sigh.

2. society does not know what's best for you nor do other people.  only you do.

similar to the previous one, this is the other reason i was so miserable for the latter half of my twenties. i stayed at my job for as long as i could. i was afraid to look and try something else because i didn't know where to go. unfortunately last year, (at 30) i had a cousin give me a hard time about not doing enough to find work. i knew though, that i was already where i was supposed to be and i just had to wait. i applied to numerous places.  nothing.  at least not from those places i looked into during that time--all retail and food. the nonprofit i was volunteering at, offered me a position.  it was actually created for me.  even after i got hired, i never heard from any of those other places.

3. when you hit a wall, when a door doesn't open, it means you're not supposed to be there so stop trying to open that same door.

i remember the first few times i tried going back to france, i applied to teach english in their public schools. i needed to get someone to evaluate my level of french, so i went to my old college professor.  it was just a simple request.  it would only take maybe 10 minutes of her time.  to my surprise, she was completely against it.  she said i would have to enroll in her class first. at this time, i have already graduated from university and was working full-time. a language class is at least twice a week. actually i did enroll in a class but i dropped after a week. she took that as a personal offense.  i then asked a french teacher at a nearby high school. i left her the form to look at and she told me she couldn't evaluate me since i was not one of her students.

i forged that part of the application.  didn't get the job anyway.  by that time, it was the second year i had applied and it was four years after i came back from france (the first trip). i was so miserable at work and so tired of the process, that i just decided it was time to go back to france.  i would just go back as a student so i enrolled in a language school.  i spent a great 6 months abroad. i'm glad i didn't get the job. learning the language is something that i am proud of. living there was a lot easier when you know the language. i will always call lyon my second home.