Some Thoughts

I've noticed that a few of my blogger friends have been posting less and less. And so have I. It's interesting how things turn out. When we once used to be a bunch of bloggers who made posts regularly or somewhat regularly to keep each other in the loop, life has taken us away from blogging.

Right now, I am still waiting to hear back from a job I applied to last month. I haven't heard back yet which means I'm still in the running. I also applied to volunteer at a hospital. My background check is being processed right now. I should start at the beginning of next year.

I can't believe it is already the end of the year. Another year.

Hello.

It's been awhile. Just over a month but feels much longer. Think the approaching holiday season has something to do with it.

What have I been up to...I am still looking for work. Though I applied to a cool position that will allow me to travel abroad and help people. I am just waiting to hear back from then which could take four more weeks (I applied two weeks ago). I may be volunteering at a hospital soon. Oh, and my little dog just passed away a week ago. She was the most adorable thing ever. I miss her.

I am also working on getting an etsy shop open where I can sell my drawings. I started to work on it last year but then all the legal stuff made me put things to the side and I haven't done anything since the beginning of the year. So now I just have to decide if I want to do this as a hobby or do this as a business. To do this as hobby I would just need to open a separate checking account to keep my personal finances separate and when tax time comes I would just need to report income on a line on the basic form. To open a business requires filing a name for the business with the county, getting an employer ID number from the IRS, a business checking account, and different set of paperwork for filing and claiming taxes (and more paperwork).

Exciting changes and projects to start me on my path in the new year.

Spoke Too Soon, Again.

I feel I have corrected myself so many times on this blog. I'm about to do it again. Looks like I won't be going into school psychology as a career even though I could see myself in that role. At this point, I probably should not announce what I think it is. It is probably better for me to wait until I actually get accepted into a graduate program. By that time, it would have been determined. The only thing I know is that I will be working with kids.

Currently I am waiting to hear back from a job I applied to three weeks ago. I submitted an application on the day of the deadline. This uncertainty is just unsettling. Today and some time last week, I filled out a volunteer form to work at two different elementary schools. I also submitted my resume to an after-school center near home.

In the same shopping center is a tae kwon do school so I went over and got some information. I was looking into enrolling in some sort of recreational class to meet new people. I'm one of those people that doesn't go out much. I was actually thinking of another tae kwon do school but saw this one on my path. Turns out this one is even better location and schedule-wise. However, I don't think I should spend that kind of money right now. I'm also considering yoga. This class is a lot more affordable and runs until the end of January. Both classes will be beneficial. The tae kwon do class will be a nice change from a few of the classes I've taken in the past where my classmates were over 50. This class I will only have to worry about a little kid wearing a black belt. The other thing I have to worry about is walking and taking the bus in the evening. It's getting darker earlier now.

Looking Back, Looking Forwards

 

Do you ever look back at your life like one of those scenes from a movie with sad music playing in the background? Something about sad music always gets me. I do look back at my life. This song was just playing on my Pandora station. Though it's titled Angeles there. Think the Pandora team made a mistake. I didn't pick this song because it was named after Los Angeles but because the sadness of the song is perfect. 

I have made a few bad decisions that have brought me where I am today. Yes, I learned my lessons though the universe had to try many times to get it through my head. Which meant I went through a very long difficult period especially in these last 3 years. Finally, I learned my last lesson in this period of my life and I know that this marks the end of it. The next chapter is about to begin and it will be completely different. I know now that we are always in control of our lives. It's just that sometimes we forget. I can't wait to see what the future holds.

Another Turn

Not much has happened in my life since my last post. It is pretty much the same. However, my career path has taken another turn. It is no longer going to be in international development. I have missed the window for that. I also realized I am not disciplined enough to work in this field since there is a lot of working independently. I am getting better at discipline but I don't have enough of it.

So what exactly do I have in mind now? Working with kids. Probably helping them, too. I still like to and would like to incorporate that into my future career. I have ruled out teaching from my volunteer experience where I did a lot of raising my voice and telling kids to do their homework. I can not handle a group of kids even if they are a bunch of little kids. At the end of the day, it's just tiring. I did some research into child psychology graduate programs. A lot of the graduate programs are aimed at creating researchers and academics in the field. That's not what I want to do. The other option I came across is a career as a school psychologist. The graduate program wouldn't take as long (3-4 years, whereas the child psychologist path is about 5-6 years). I also wouldn't need to basically go back and take a bunch of psychology courses to get into programs. I would just need to take some. The only thing is I have to go talk to a counselor at the community college first to see if I could still get into grad school with the coursework I did as an undergrad. It's been 8 years since I graduated. Could I still use those courses to fulfill my undergraduate requirements?

Just before writing this post, I came across this blog written by a school psychologist. Reading about what one of her days is like, made me smile. This is pretty much what I would love to do for a career. I love school, I like/love kids, I love helping them. This must be it. Now it's just a matter of studying for the GRE and taking those psychology courses to prepare me for grad school.

I Miss Paris

The feelings are resurfacing. It started when I found out a friend is going to Paris. Thinking about all my favorite places brings back a lot of memories. I'm back to dreaming about moving there in the future while I still have my health.

The Pre-Crunch

It's slowly dawning on me. I'm going to return to university in a few years. I feel a little panicked inside.  There are math classes I have to take when I get there but before that I have to prepare for those math courses. I have to refresh my math knowledge which has been idle since I graduated in mid-2000. I retained only a little. The classes I may take include statistics, pre-calculus, calculus and maybe physics. (I did not take any of those courses as a student). The prerequisite to statistics is intermediate algebra (a class I did take before). That is the class I need to refresh myself on. I registered as a student at the local community college and of course, because of budget cuts in California, there are less courses on offer and all those courses are now filled. I need to take the class in a physical space but that is no longer an option. Now I'm researching online courses. Also contemplating textbooks. Should I buy one from the school? Should I borrow an older version from the library? Of course, if I do this I will need to get super motivated to stick to the work. Even when I was in college, my mind would wander as I studied.

I don't know when I will go back for sure but my intention is by at least the 2014-15 academic year. Still more research left to do.

It's Been Awhile

Yet it's only been two weeks since my last post. Feels like a month. What have I been up to? Um...I've been active on other social media platforms. I have put Facebook aside for the most part. Strangely, I don't feel the need to check it throughout the day. I thought I would feel dependent on it. I go on maybe twice a week. I sign in, look around, maybe post something, and then sign off. Done for the day. It feels awesome to be free of Facebook.

I have a twitter account which I started to use for professional development purposes. I've only made a few posts since this was decided. Still not finished on my cover letter yet. Then I did an angel card reading last night (I've mentioned before on the blog, I read tarot/angel cards). One of the cards said "Now is the time to gather information, study, meditate, talk to experts in the field... Not a time to plant seeds for the future."  This card came up before not long ago. I have not done much research since that reading. Now though I need to continue with the research. Although I don't know when I will be going back to university, I haven't narrowed down my list of schools for the bachelors program to the top 3 yet. I also haven't done research on cost of living and bureaucratic formalities for living in the UK where I will be studying for both the bachelors and masters program. And possibly a certificate program in International Development. Yup, the other stuff that I have planned for social media will have to wait.

In the meantime, I have decided to volunteer with another nonprofit for a few weeks. I'm just doing this until my background check clears with the government agency that I'm going to volunteer with. Not sure how long I'm going to be there but at least it will keep me busy and I'll learn something new.

Friends + Facebook + The Future

I'm currently putting together a cover letter for an awesome internship in the field that I want to get into. Right now, it is day 4 (or more) of me trying to finish it. It takes more thinking when you are not currently a student and your previous work experience is unrelated. Though you have more freedom in the content and structure, that freedom also makes things a little bit more difficult.

When it comes to the future and what you want your life to be like, Facebook is an excellent tool. Of course, having friends who are doing well in their careers is a great motivator. Seeing what some of my friends are doing makes me want to already have my cover letter done. I, too, want to get going on my career. This internship will be the first step.

Random bits.

A few years ago I was reading Real Simple magazine. It's a home-related magazine about organizing and cleaning. Sometimes more. They always have cool tips in there. One that I remember was to freeze extra spaghetti sauce in ice cube trays so that you can keep it for longer. I thought that was one of the best ideas I've ever heard of. Today I made a soup using coconut milk. I haven't been cooking much and there's not a lot of recipes I know that use coconut milk. I know it will go bad after awhile if I just refrigerate it so I decided to put that idea to use. For space-saving purposes I then transferred them to a plastic container.

In the past couple of months, I have been going through some life changes. I'm still in transition from one phase to the next. As a result, it has also effected this blog. Which direction is this to go? Should I continue blogging? It's all questions I'm asking myself.

Clothes & Fashion

Being a petite person, shopping for clothes yields mixed results. Most retailers haven't caught on to the needs of petite women yet. Those who have are benefiting from it. Some pieces aren't that much trouble to adjust to like pants. If something fits but is too long I just have it hemmed. I started getting my pants altered in college. First it was jeans but then I started buying pants (slacks). I noticed that afterwards, the pants look a lot more crisp and expensive. Not too long ago I bought a pair of pants from Target and had those hemmed. With a pair of heels, the look is very polished.

Today while browsing the internet and reading an article about what is appropriate attire for an intern, I came across something called Alterations Needed. Turns out it is a personal fashion blog. The blogger is a petite woman like myself. Her blog is full of advice on how to alter clothes to fit (or what to ask for when you go to a tailor). I've already picked up some great tips. The one thing I learned is that getting your clothes (or your favorite and staple pieces) altered is key to your wardrobe and looking great in it.

Another tip I learned from that intern article, buy from thrift stores and have that altered. Could you imagine how much money you'd save from that?

Needless to say, I will be altering a few more of my pieces now and buying clothes, new and second-hand, to have altered.

Summer

Los Angeles Union Station

Summer is here. The weather in the past few days has been nice. Los Angeles usually gets hit with a heat wave during this time of year. When Summer arrived last month that's actually what we got.

I usually don't go into downtown that much and especially in the evening. My friend invited me to a free concert at Grand Performances (the venue is in the middle of a corporate plaza). Tonight's show was a tribute to Nina Simone. (It would have been her 80th birthday). Before we got there we took a detour to Union Station (the kids needed to use the restroom). I love Union Station. You feel like you're in a different time period. We then continued on our way to the venue. We got there half an hour before the show started so we ended up sitting at the top of the terrace. It was a nice casual atmosphere. Everyone brought food and drinks. Those who sat on the floor brought a blanket to sit on (the one thing we didn't think to bring. Not that it was necessary).

My friend brought her kids so we ended up leaving early--too many people and no room for them to run around. Still a great night. The weather was perfect, there was plenty of food, and the music was great, too.

Relationships

I was reading an article about romantic relationships yesterday. In it the author wrote that there are two questions to ask when considering a relationship. The first is:  Where am I going? The second is: Who is going with me? And the most important thing to remember is that the order of these two questions should never be reversed.

Oh and another point made in the article:  Relationships work best when you always do what's best for you. 

There are always those relationships that end because one person has to continue their life in a different place. The other person could not follow. It is about finding someone who can and will go with you in the next step of your life and beyond. 

That Dreadful Thing

My friend and former college roommate (known her since 2002-3) is getting married. Initially I was invited without a guest but then I told her I hate going to parties by myself. She then said I could bring a guest. So I was happy. Then I realized, eek. If I go, I will have to go out to the floor for the dreaded bouquet toss. I hate the bouquet toss. The last wedding I attended, I actually tried to hide from the bouquet toss. I just don't understand why the party needs to have people go on the floor who do not wish to participate. That part of the tradition needs to change.

the foundation program

in my research, i've come across this before and only yesterday have i really taken notice of it:  foundation programs in u.k. universities. typically a one year course of study for certain fields of study for entering undergraduate students who lack the educational background needed to apply for an undergraduate study. these students could be career changers like myself, or maybe students who feel they need more time to prepare. completing and passing the foundation year they are usually admitted into the bachelors program at that same university but can also apply to other u.k. universities.

it is one year. basic courses in that field make up the program. somehow that is enough to prepare the student for entry into the bachelors program. fortunately, many universities offer the program i need: science and engineering. i've look through just about all the universities that came up in the google search. in a lot of these foundation programs for engineering i will need to take statistics, chemistry, organic chemistry, calculus and physics. and that's just the advanced courses. i may also have to take the lower math: algebra, geometry, trig.  great... well, i was already thinking of enrolling in a junior college at home and taking statistics and chemistry.

compared to the u.s., it is light in math courses. before i thought i would have to take so many of the classes i already took--basically doing the bachelors degree from the very beginning. interesting that a bachelors in the u.k. only consists of courses for your major. there are no general education courses. perhaps they (u.k. students) already took those classes in their high school equivalent. therefore many bachelors program in the u.k is only 3 years.

i already know which program i want to do for my master's (though that can change if i find something better). i just need to figure out which foundation program and which bachelors program will best prepare me for the master's.

scary to think that i can leave as early as next fall.

field trip, part 2

the sky cleared up by the time i left in the late afternoon.

back to the museum...in front of the museum is chris burden's piece. at night, the lamp posts are all lit and it's a beautiful sight. the exhibition i went to see, the james turrell retrospective, visitors are not allowed to take any photographs so all i got were images of other pieces in other exhibitions. however you can read about his work and see images here. the sculpture above is centaur by pablo picasso. i also love the giant screen (image 5) in the museum's courtyard.

i highly recommend the james turrell retrospective though. i definitely want to make another trip.

field trip, part 1

some time last year i went to lacma (los angeles county museum of art). i took these photos and never posted them. i am posting them now because i took another trip to this museum yesterday and took more pictures. the photos from last year will help tell the story of the whole trip.

the first photo i took while waiting for the metro. (yes, l.a. has a metro). as you can see, not as busy as other metros around the world. the berlin wall piece was actually located across the street from lacma and is part of the wende museum's program, the wall project. the last picture is just the backside. i'm glad i walked up to it last year because now the lawn has been taped off so you can't get up close anymore (although you could just walk over the tape, if you want. there was no security in front). sadly, i don't think people are aware that it is a piece of the berlin wall as they are driving by it.

from the wende museum website:

"...the Museum conceived and produced The Wall Project, a public art initiative which commemorated the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Garnering press in over two-dozen countries and broadcast live in Europe, The Wall Project’s culminating event on November 8, 2009 was the largest of its kind outside of Berlin."

i still can't believe i was in france for the 20th anniversary of the fall of the berlin wall.  it was a nice surprise to see this a few years after my return home.  the irony that i see it in l.a. and not in europe.  there is also a smaller section of the wall at the richard nixon library and museum in yorba linda (california). i got to see that piece when i was in college as part of a class trip.

a lovely list.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

love, love, love! these pieces.

1. miniature wearable planter, $22. wearable planter.

2. gold dipped clear quartz crystal necklace, $30, elladolce.

3. boracay frame clutch, pink. $68, anthropologie

halloumi

last month i went to eat with my cousin. he had just gone to this greek restaurant by his house that week with his wife's family and was so impressed he decided to go back. although the food was great (portions were big), the one thing that lingered on my mind after that meal was the appetizer that my cousin's wife had ordered. on the menu it was supposed to be served on a slice of baguette or cracker but she can't have anything with glutten in it so she just asked for it to be served on slices of cucumber. when it came it looked similar to what i prepared above (although not as brown). i loved it immediately. what is this cheese? i asked myself. it's salty, tastes a little bit like chicken and has the consistency close to that. it's so good.

after buying feta cheese (the only greek cheese i had ever heard of) and discovering it was not that, i told my cousin about it. he said it is cyprus cheese. i looked it up. it's actual name is halloumi. when i told my cousin that he laughed. "that's the name of the dish!" he said. i then did a search for stores that would carry it. it seems it is only found in specialty stores like trader joe's and whole foods. luckily i live near a trader joe's. i went and found it. only one kind-the trader joes' brand. comes pre-sliced. $4.99. that's fine. i only need one brand. reading the package, halloumi can be prepared many ways. you can grill it or fry it without using cooking oil (it doesn't melt), you can have it in salads, you can make a sandwich, as an appetizer, in pita bread.

after finishing this small plate i prepared, i would say that it might be too much for one person because of how salty it is. i had to counterbalance the saltiness with the cucumber by cutting thicker slices.

more beautiful than france?

all photos from paris in four months.

 i honestly didn't think I would find a place more enchanting and breath-taking than paris. then yesterday i hopped on over to the blog, paris in four months. the author just came back from a recent trip to corsica, one of france's island territories, and the pictures are just beautiful. i was surprised at my own reaction to these pictures. corsica is so beautiful.

life

i'm old enough where i can look back at life. it's interesting when you can tell when something such as getting a new job can feel and be the start to the next part of your life and when it is only just a new job or another job. i know i'm about to enter into the next chapter of my life. for once i'm a bit scared.  i'm working on a cover letter for a job at ikea, again. it's not even for a management position but they want a cover letter. good grief. so i'm trying to put together something that isn't so... forced, i guess. i know that this time around it will be more like school and not work. what i mean is that i know there is something i will be returning to learn in regards to the bigger picture of my life. last time it was just about working and saving up money. i don't like it when work feels like work.

the other thing is my life has not moved much since i graduated. i came to ikea after i graduated and here i am now. the only difference is that now i know what my calling is. that's another thing that i noticed. life does not move forward until we decide to do so or sometimes we are even pushed to do so or after we've learned all we need to at that stage or a combination of those three. i never thought i would be coming back to ikea, but here i am. life is interesting like that.

sometimes you can feel when you are being led a certain direction. this is one of those times.

happy endings.

two days ago at work, one of my colleague's boyfriend showed up. at that point i noticed a lot of the kids and staff in the building had all gathered and were facing them. my friend's boyfriend then got on one knee and proposed. my friend said yes.

her fiance i noticed was not the same guy i saw at the holiday dinner in december. this is a new guy. i found out they've only been dating for a few months. the guy already knew so soon.

today i congratulated her on the engagement. i then asked how her kids (a fifth grader and a third grader) likes the guy. she said they love him and her son, who she doesn't always understand, loves her fiance. they get along great. she said she couldn't have asked for a better guy. (i was wondering how my friend could given an answer so soon. now i know).

only two weeks ago, this same friend was 1 of 20 people who won a scholarship to a local university. i overheard her talking on the phone that day. she said she felt like her life was finally coming together (things have not occurred in the order society has dictated). from the outside i would say that her life is coming along just fine. she's a great mom to her kids, she does her job well, and she's a great friend.

i have another friend who has three young kids. the youngest she had with her current boyfriend. her boyfriend loves all of her kids. they have already talked about getting married.

i'm so happy for my friends. i think this is just proof for me that anything is possible.

the missing piece.

i was just googling "the love of my life." i wanted to read other people's stories. it is something that i also want in my own life. i came across one blog where the author was recanting how she met her husband. her story is quite heart-warming. i then read a few other stories that came up on google. one of them led me to the secret's (the book) website. i was actually reading stories from readers using the secret, the magic, and the power (all books) to manifest things in their life. i have read the secret several years ago. i didn't like the book so i returned it. i understood that it was about using the law of attraction and creating a visualisation board to manifest things into your life, but i didn't like the way the book was written. many times through out the book, the author just repeats the same things over and over. she then puts it in a book (or the publisher) puts it in this nice book to make it something bigger than it really is. there are many books in the new age/self-help section that have been written decades ago on the law of attraction, gratitude, and the power of love, and a lot of readers think it's something new. the only difference is that the secret and subsequent books by this author have made it on to a more visible place in the bookstore.

anyway, even though i didn't like the way the book was written and the way she handled the subject, i have to thank her website and the stories from her readers. from reading their stories, i now realize why my life hasn't moved forward much (actually, i already knew why but this was from a different perspective) and what i need to do/change. yes, my heart and mind are in two different places. in order to do anything, they need to be in the same place. it just makes things a lot easier. what i need to do is, foremost, figure out what i really want. so once i figure that out, i may have to create a new visualization board. i also need to go back to writing down the things that i am grateful for in my life, on a more regular basis. then lastly, work towards what i want. that is pretty much how we manifest things into our lives. you just have to really believe it can/it will happen. key words are really and believe. you have to really want it. whatever it is. you also have to stay positive and believe that anything is possible.

figuring out what i really want will be the hardest part. sigh.

food trucks...in paris!

i'm slow to catch on but i can't believe that there are now a few food trucks in paris. i'm just reading about it now on other blogs. one truck is called le camion qui fume (the smoking truck) and the other is cantine california. i read an article by the new york times which made it sound like the trucks first started in new york and spread to other major american cities. perhaps it did (i'm sure they were slightly biased towards new york, they always are) but i like to think that los angeles started it. los angeles made it what it is now especially with the koji truck. however, the food truck had a more humble beginning in los angeles. for as long as i can remember, i remember seeing these ugly steel food trucks around. they catered mostly to the  immigrant laborers. the food was awful. really bad american and mexican fast food.

fast forward 20-30 years and we now have these cool food trucks serving all sorts of fare. in los angeles, the koji korean-mexican fusion truck, took the food truck to a whole new level with serving good food. well, some at least. others are okay. (i have tried the kogi tacos. it's pretty darn good). so i was pretty excited to hear that a city like paris is experiencing this part of american culture. however, unlike in los angeles, the ones in paris have a set location they have to serve from. no moving around. can't wait to try it on my next visit!

astrology

my birthday was last wednesday, the 20th. in every book on astrology and every horoscope section in a magazine, that makes me a pisces. i know i'm a pisces/aries cusp since i was born on the last day of that sign. many years ago, my cousin bought a book that teaches you how to draw your own natal chart, step-by-step. i have been looking at it pretty often within the last year. however, i have two natal charts drawn. the only difference is that on one chart, i placed the sun in aries and the other chart, the sun is in pisces. so i got a hold of my cousin's book again, flipped to the sun's page, and found out in the year of my birth, the sun had moved into aries on my birthday. that means i was born under aries, not pisces, as i had always believed. i'm both though. it's just i never read my horoscope for aries. i definitely feel i am more of the fish. so now i'm going back and reading for aries in all the astrology sites i follow.

to my fellow 20th of march friends (and anyone else born on a cusp), if you are curious you can figure out exactly where the sun was when you were born, here (you will need to know the time you were born as well as the city you were born in).

thoughts

tonight i have been reading blogs of expats living in paris. i just wanted to see what it would do to me. would it reignite the dormant feelings i have for the city and country? i still love the haussmanian architecture. i love those windows you find in parisian apartments, i love and miss the food and the quality of the food, the metro, the monuments, and the beautiful language. however, ever since i came back from this last trip, as i told my cousin's husband, "i'm full." as in i don't feel a need to go back like i felt after my first trip. i don't feel pulled from within my soul anymore. (then again my visualisation board i created regarding my career path was predominantly about life in paris).

yeah, i'm not sure where i am right now or where i want to go next.

i had this brief back and forth with a friend via email. i told her i didn't get the job i applied for at ikea. that i will just wait for something else to open up and apply. she replied that it sounded like i needed an adventure. she herself will be moving to d.c. next week. her fiance had just recently accepted a new job out there. maybe i do need an adventure but what happens after i return home? i'll still be unemployed. if i do go somewhere big, it will be to west africa. i figured that is the first step towards that career i had planned out not too long ago. perhaps an adventure is something i need to look into at home. things are slow right now because i'm not going out and creating life.

other things on my plate: setting up my etsy shop. all those drawings i've done are meant for the shop. unfortunately it is a legitimate business so there is paperwork involved. i've also not made any drawings since november (?). sigh.

things are just not very interesting or exciting right now. i need to continue the momentum from january into the rest of the year. my birthday is coming up next week and to look back on my 30th and 31st year, i just see life that slipped away. this year has to be different.

the pisces' destiny

i don't talk about this very much, but i love to read about astrology. i love to read horoscopes. some suck, some don't. i've read enough to know which ones are worth reading.

i came across one recently by milton black. i read the profile for my sign, pisces. this is one of the things he mentioned. (i've never read this anywhere else).

"Pisces' destiny is bound up with traveling and foreign countries. Most likely they will travel a lot for business reasons or reside in a place or country different from where they were born."

well...that explains a lot. how many people (pisces) do i already know who have fulfilled this destiny? there's my japanese schoolmate in france. she's lived in canada, is now in a suburb of paris with her partner. before that they were living in england. then there's v, a new yorker, blogger at nonbiological momminess, who studied in london and is now married and residing there. another classmate from france is from lithuania. met her future french husband while they were both living in the netherlands. they now reside in france.

then there's me. i love to travel. i dreamed of living and working abroad, particularly in europe. however, now i'm not so sure if i still want it. the other thing that i wanted just as much was a guy. so for the past couple of weeks i've been thinking a lot about what i want more: love or career? which one will i regret (more) if i walk away from it? would any of my friends in the previous paragraph leave their country if they were already in a strong relationship? luckily this wasn't a question that they had to think about. sigh.

in love

opened up my inbox and saw mail from bhldn, anthropologie's wedding line. i immediately scrolled through the new spring line and fell in love with this dress, the omelia gown ($2200).



you have to zoom in on the dress to see all the little details like the lace work on top or the polka dots in the bodice. this dress is just beautiful.

2013

 from http://weheartit.com/entry/48052830/via/micheledrl

synchronicities

most people know it by its other name: coincidences. however, there are no such things as coincidences. i believe this more and more now. you call it a coincidence and then that incident never crosses your mind again. i was in the car with my cousin and his wife recently. we drove past her old high school in long beach and she was telling us what had happened on one of the days following the rodney king beating in los angeles. news had spread of the riots which had just begun. it was a school day. the school decided for the students' safety that they need to let the students out of school now. (it was around 11 a.m.). my cousin's wife is white. she takes the bus. so she went to wait for the bus. there was some sort of commotion going on at the bus stop and before it had escalated, at that moment, her friend's mom was just driving past that corner, saw her, and yelled at her to get in the car. she got in and got home safely. (she learned later that something also happened on her bus). there is no way that that was a coincidence. although, she thinks it is.

anyhow, i only started seeing coincidences as synchronicities recently. once i did, i could see that i've been experiencing them for a few years now. when i arrived in france in 2009, those coincidences were all synchronicities. sometime after i arrived home when life started going downhill, though, it stopped. it started again at the end of last year.

right now, i'm having a hard time making a decision regarding where to go to work. i could a) go work at a store that's very close to home, where i could walk home. the work is retail. the pay would be small. i could do that for a short while while i volunteer in an office somewhere to gain more experience. i would then wait for something to open up at ikea. my other option is b) go back to ikea. now. it is far. i would need someone to pick me up after closing which due to the distance is a problem. i figured maybe take the first option. take driving lessons again. once i get more comfortable driving, i can then go back to ikea. (did i mention gas is now at $4/gallon?) although, with the first option saving up for a used car will take longer.

how does this tie into synchronicities? well, awhile ago i was on facebook. in the corner was a notification that reminded me it was a friend's birthday today. this friend used to work at the club. she left to start on her career. i go to look at her facebook page. one of the things that she "liked" was a club in her hometown. i scroll through their fb page. i come across my friend's picture but i just thought she was there to volunteer. i keep scrolling. i see another picture of her. above the picture is her title at the club. she now works there. she has moved back to northern california and has gone back to work for her old club. she must have had a hard time finding work in southern california. i remember her saying moving back home would be her last resort.

then a short while ago, i was just checking up on ask a manager, a work-related blog, and this was part of its newest post:

1. Can I tell my former employer that I want to come back?
I worked for an employer a little over 4 years. It was my first job out of college and I was feeling really tied down and restless and wanted to try a new environment, so I switched from a consulting firm to working in an internal corporate role. I’m basically miserable at my new job. I don’t really like any of coworkers and just don’t feel like its a good fit. I liked my old job better and feel like I had a little quarter-life crisis and case of the grass is greener. It’s only been 6 months since I left.

reading that, i felt i was reading about myself (not all of it relates to me, though).

- i had worked at ikea for almost four years.
- it was pretty much my first real job out of college.
- i did go through a quarter-life crisis when i was there.

and now i am considering going back. it seems to be the only place that would hire me without much difficulty. i am still not sure if i'm ready for that hr generalist position considering my experiences in an office setting so far. tomorrow is the last day to apply. sigh.

well, well, well.

i checked my inbox this morning. the school district had sent a message yesterday evening. though, i did score higher than 70% on the exam (i got 82%), because so many people had also made that mark or higher, they decided to raise the passing score to 87%. there goes that. all that worrying for nothing.

so moving on, i decided to check ikea's website. there are a few openings. one for a human resources generalist. if only i had a car.

moving along

the application was due on the 23rd. i turned mine in on the 22nd. on the 23rd, i received an email telling me about the written test (though i did not check my email til the 26th) which would be given today. most of the test was what i thought it would be, multiple choice scantron. questions that were screen captured images of the actual work we would be doing. questions regarding excel, grammar, and filing. and of course, my least favorite, phone etiquette. i will definitely be working on that, if i get the job.

anyway, today i fretted over what to wear, afraid that others might be wearing suits and i would be the only one without a matching suit jacket or jacket at all. i arrived to the school district office and walking over to the testing room, noticed that there was one woman dressed in a purple dress, a very unbusiness-type of dress. a younger woman wore jeans, converse, and a hoody jacket. it was a mix of attire. by the time the test started, there was about 30 of us. the proctor told us, we would be notified by tomorrow if we will move on to the panel interview wednesday of next week. i was relieved to hear that this interview would be 25 minutes max. the final interview, i'd imagine would be the following week. work would start middle of next month. this is by far the quickest interview process i've been through.

staying in the present

today as i was walking home from the library, a monarch butterfly flew by me. i knew it was no accident. something like a monarch butterfly is not something that is seen that often where i live. moths, flies, and hummingbirds? yes.  so awhile ago i googled to see if there was any significant meaning to them or any symbolism. and of course, there is. there was one long page about them. to summarize, it symbolizes transformation but also to enjoy life's journeys and not just the destination. basically to stay in the present and enjoy it.

considering what's been on my mind, that message is exactly what i needed to hear. i am the typical pisces. i daydream too much. often imagining what my future will be like. i've been thinking about my career. it's on hold right now. i could just go and begin already but that involves money that i don't have much of right now. and i'm not even talking about grad school. i keep thinking about what i really want. i've just been worrying about too much. especially things that haven't even come to pass yet. so coming back to the present is something i really need to remember.

also, i just realized this while typing this post but a few days ago i came across this video and the guy, buddy wakefield, was talking about the exact same thing: staying in the present. bizarre. i have to say though, this guy is awesome. he's a spoken word poet and he's won a few international titles.