taking care of self.

i've always wanted flawless skin but in the past was never the one who had it. acne is something i've been dealing with since i was a teen. in my adult years now it's not so bad. i just don't like the tiny acne that are all over my face. after doing some research on what french women use (because i've seen their skin), i went to different online outlets comparing milk cleansers, toners, and serums. the last item on their skincare of course was not a product. they also drink plenty of water. something i rarely do. i'm also sure their diet has something to do with it.  strangely enough, not one article i read mentioned anything about a scrub (though it was the scrub that kept my acne away). my skincare regimen right now consists of cleanser, scrub, spot treatment and moisturizer.

i want to try kiehl's other products (i use their moisturizer w/spf) but after going to drugstore.com, came across another brand, boots, with positive reviews.  it's not expensive at all (under $8) though that probably reflects the small size their products come in (5 fl.oz for the toner). i am looking forward to buying on drugstore.com since i have an ebates account (meaning i will get 6% back from all my drugstore.com purchases). i'm also tempted to buy one or two things from avene (a french brand), on drugstore.com because they are having a special promotion on international brands right now: 20% off.

i will probably wait a while before i buy these products. especially since i still have a full tube of scrub to use before i can start up a new regimen that doesn't include scrubs.

etsy finds

 i have been wanting to buy myself a skinny band for awhile now. (top) 14k gold band by colby june, $95 each; (middle) trio of brass rings by rui and aguri, $95, and (bottom) recycled rose gold band by joelle, $66. I like the last one. the band is actually rounded.

it's that time again.

when the elections come around, so does the literature. in california, we get to vote on different propositions, i.e.  how public funds get used, details of a law, among other things. for each proposition on the ballot, there is a cliff's notes version from both sides. at the end of that section is the text of the proposed laws which varies from two pages to ten.

i intend to vote but i haven't opened up the booklet til now (it came in the mail a few weeks ago). will see how much of the reading i'll get done before then.

lyon!

there are a number of fashion/sartorial blogs out there. today i came across one from a girl in lyon. she posts mostly photos of herself in different outfits. i was so excited when i came across her blog mainly because i lived in lyon. sigh... of her recent posts i learned that there is a new burger restaurant in one of the neighborhoods. she quoted the prices for her dishes (around 13€/plate!) . another post was about the opening of a lush store on the main shopping street, republique.  anyhow, why couldn't it have opened while i was there?

her blog is in french. luckily i can still read and understand written french. my spoken and comprehension part, however, not so great as it used to be.

scrumptious

 

 if you ever need ideas for what to make, head over to foodgawker. be warned though. you might drool.

seen & heard on the playground #2

while monitoring little kids on the playground, one of the girls who is sitting on the swings but not swinging yet, looks to me and asks, "can somebody push me?" i then realize i haven't told them my name yet and that i should do that the next time. i think it's funny that the little girl, not knowing my name, referred to me as "somebody" instead of using "you." i told this to my friend and supervisor, who both work inside, and they both giggled.

working with kids

my experience with kids is almost non-existent. before i got to where i am now, i was at ikea. i did not work in småland but i did work a little bit in the kids department. the only time i had to deal with them is when they came up to me because they got separated from their parents. at the club, i work with the kids. i am learning as i go. of course there are things i'm not aware of or that i forgot regarding working with children. i am aware that i am in a supervisory role. i need to help keep an eye out for things going on on the playground. even though i don't work at a school, i learned at a staff meeting that everyone who works in a childcare setting is held by law to report any suspicions they might have regarding sexual abuse of any student (mandated reporting). before the utterance of those words, i still saw myself as a babysitter. after however, i saw my responsibility in a whole new, scary light. of course, there will be something like this going on in homes that we have to keep our eyes open to. unfortunately, this is the dark side of working with kids.

my schedule

since i've started drawing again, this is what my daily activity schedule looks like (esp, on weekends):

- offline: make drawings, photograph

- online: slowly build up social networks, connect with other creative types

then of course, my weekly schedule involves work, volunteering, job searching, internet research. my priorities are supposed to be job searching and drawing but at the moment feels like drawing and everything else in a jumbled second place.

from the past couple of days (and today)...

words that can move mountains

my whole life, i believe, (or at least a good part of it) i have been a "can't do" person. whenever an obstacle presented itself, a lot of times i would think "i can't do this" or "i don't have enough experience/the right experience/money/whatever (in order to do something). i've said too many negatives. i only realize it now that just by saying "i can't do ..." automatically shuts our minds, our energy, and motivation to doing something. i've heard a few people tell me in the past that i'm too negative but i never really thought too much about it. that's just the way i was.

in the not too distant past, i was talking to a friend from college about my new found career path (international development). she told me i should go join the peace corps as the experience will prove to me whether that's something i really want to do or not. of course, i got scared. joining the peace corps was not part of my plans. i told her i don't think i can do 2 years. she suggested i do 6 months. i then came up with an excuse for not doing it. ever since that conversation, my interest in that field has waned. at the time i was starting to study for the gre but i have since stopped. 

i know i have heard the following words/advice at least once somewhere before but i have forgotten about it until now. those words are: how can i ...? instead of thinking "i can't do this" and killing the idea instantly, "how can i do this?" unlocks everything. "how can i do this?" leads to answers.  it's similar to the other words we've heard many times before: we can do anything we set our minds to. however, that was always easier said than done.  "how can i do this?" makes you think about how to overcome an obstacle, step by step. the other set of words gave no direction or advice on how to actually accomplish what we believe and want to set our minds to. only a part of the population knows how to implement those words. for others, like myself, they are just words.

i wish i had these words pop up in my mind those few months ago when i was talking to my friend or after that conversation. i would have then realized that joining the peace corps was not my only option to getting my feet wet in the field. i was already aware of other programs out there but for some reason i didn't think about it.

kiddie moments

when you work with elementary school-aged kids, it opens up your mind. i say this because with teenagers, everyone remembers what it's like to be a teenager. they think they know everything and they just bug but with little kids, parts of their behavior you recognize but then does anyone remember what it was like at that age? probably not. they say and do things that just makes you understand things from a different perspective.

- back in late spring, i was helping my executive director with a project. i had to ask the kids about their experiences at the club. one of the questions i asked to one third or fourth grade student was, how do you think your volunteering will help you in the future? his response, "i don't know." i then tried to rephrase that question. his response was still, "i don't know." that's when i realized, oh! he's too young to think about the future. little kids don't think that far ahead. maybe to the end of the week if they have something fun to do but to think about something 5 or 10 years down the line, no.

- yesterday at work, during homework time, i went around the first and second grade group. one of the kids, little miss sunshine #2, a first grader, needed help. she had to read a passage but it had to be timed. she started to read. outloud. since she was sitting at a table with other kids, i asked her if she could read quietly, in her head. she said, "no." i'm not sure if it's just her or maybe little kids her age can't do things like that yet.

- during this same homework time, if kids are done with homework they are then to do worksheets and then find a book to read. a few weeks ago when i first started helping out with this activity, i noticed little miss shy sitting with her seat turned around (so she's not facing the table). she had her book upright on her lap, facing away from her and she was reading the book as if there was a group sitting in front of her. in other words, she was pretending to be a teacher. it was so adorable. she still does that sometimes. yeah, she's at that age where she mimics adults.

more drawings

i've been collecting pieces of nature on my walk to work. i get a lot of inspiration from her.

in the bottom one, the color is off and i couldn't figure out how to correct it in photoshop. will probably have to buy a professional grade scanner in the future.

creating, again

watercolor and pencil on paper, 3" x 5"

i started this project (of drawing and painting) some time last year. i made a few pieces and then got distracted by other things like job hunting. i hope i manage to stay on track this time. i'd like to just keep doing this. i really miss creating these drawings. i will post them on the blog as i make them. i do have plans for them and i'll share that when the time comes.

mr. smalls

continuing on the subject of little miss and mr. men, i'd like to introduce another "character." i call him mr. smalls. he is the smallest boy in first grade. he comes dressed everyday in hip hop style: an l.a. baseball cap one size too big, a t-shirt also a little too big, sneakers and jeans (his jeans are thankfully not baggy). i'm sure his parents dress him or maybe an older brother. mr. smalls is too cute for words. luckily he does not have a hip hop attitude to go with his style. he's still just a first grader. anyhow, what makes him too cute for words is that on top of his personal style he is also missing his front teeth. when he talks, it makes me smile and giggle. being toothless in the front makes him say everything with a hissy sound. sometimes i don't understand the words he's saying so i just turn to a colleague and ask if she understood him. it just makes me think, "mr. smalls, you just lost your street cred when you smiled. good thing, you're only in first grade."

missed connections

i've read these little stories on craigslist before. most are strangers who crossed paths. a few are of someone writing about how they realized the other person that they are no longer with, was the one. it always breaks my heart to read those even though i don't know who the person is.

today i had my own missed connection. i was walking home from one end of the town center (a shopping center) to the other end which is the way out of the center and towards home. on my way out of the center i would have to pass a walmart. a guy exits the store. i only see his back as he is walking in the same direction i am. immediately his style is familiar. the guy i like at work (who left back in the beginning of the summer) has the same style: dark skinny-ish jeans, black shoes, dark t-shirt, and a dark beanie (guy's knit cap). the guy in front of me today is a bit leaner than the guy at work. also a few inches taller. seeing this guy immediately brought back my feelings for the guy at work. back at the town center, this guy keeps walking and then turns the corner where i would be going too. i assume he parked his car there. i stop to take off my jacket to wrap it around my waist before getting to the corner as it was hot. as i turn the corner, he is not in sight. walking out of the town center and heading towards the street corner i see him. he is crossing the street but in a different direction i'll be taking. he enters the coffee bean on that corner. i want to follow him but i have two bags of groceries with me. i head home.

perhaps it is better that i don't know what this guy's face looks like but just seeing the semblance brought back strong feelings. the guy at work i have not seen since he left. i have been hoping that he would come visit the two kids he cared for at work but he hasn't shown up yet.

sometimes i wonder about these kind of happenings. the universe is strange sometimes.

seen & heard on the playground

stepping out to the playground the other day, a bunch of first, second, and third grade boys were playing soccer. they saw me and pointed towards the sky, shouting, "rainbow! rainbow!" i turned around and there was a rainbow. the sky was grey and threatening to rain that whole day. it probably did in some parts of the city. after turning back around, i thought to myself, well, that will be the last time a bunch of boys will say that to me. interesting to see what they see at this age.

wishlist

beautiful, isn't it?  this oval bezel ring ($265) is by blanca monros gomez and one day i would like to buy myself one.

book review or two

my life recently has been about trying to get out of a rut. it's been very hard on me. fortunately, i have been able to climb myself out of it. two books have crossed my path and i don't think it was by coincidence. as i went to the library to print out my resume, i walked down the aisles by the copy machines. i found myself in the "you can do it/think big" aisle. out of the several books that i wanted to check out, i decided to go with "make the impossible possible" by bill strickland. it is an excellent example of how the author broke out of societies expectations and labels to do great things with his life. he did not let his background (poor) or skin color (black) to hold him back. of course, when he was younger things were a different story but through events in his teen years, he saw that those things were not real limitations. from that day forward, he never looked back. by following his heart he has changed his community and many lives by helping them get good jobs--jobs that could lift the person and their family out of poverty.

the second book, i just picked up a few weeks ago, is titled, "the traveler's gift: seven decisions that determine personal success" by andy andrews. this book was calling out to me more than the first one. this, though, non-fiction, is written really well in a way that it teaches the reader a few important lessons about how to attain personal success. ironically, it was a response to some of the complaints that i had written about a few posts back regarding what to do with my life.

i highly recommend both books and i know if i ever meet anyone who is going through what i am going through, i will tell them to read these books.

little miss and mr. men

i decided a few weeks ago to fill up some of my available days during the week with volunteer work at the club. i realized that had i done this a year ago, i might have been given more hours to work with the kids. instead i just decided to keep to my office work and when the time came to hire more people for the summer, i knew i had missed an opportunity.

working with little kids (first - third graders) is not easy. once in awhile i will start thinking about how cute some of them are, then the next moment i'm shouting at them to stop playing while they're standing in line. because i don't look like an adult, i don't have their respect yet (i'm working on it).

since they are small i've decided to nickname them which brings me to the title of this post: little miss and mr. men. since these are little kids i work with, the title little miss and mr. men are perfect for them. there's one second grader who is chubby and adorable. she rarely does her homework and is often disobedient. she also already has an attitude. therefore a name like little miss attitude suits her well.then there's little miss shy. she's a little bit smaller than the other first graders. she's quiet and is often found wandering around the club playing by herself. today my supervisor came out to the park (just outside the building) and told me about little miss shy's wandering tendencies and to please, keep an eye on her. there's also two little miss sunshines. they are both blonde haired and adorable. little miss sunshine #1 has been a member for a couple years now. she is always seen with a soda or ice cream stain around her mouth. little miss sunshine #2 is new. she has a round face and today she tattle tailed on the boys who were sitting at her table. (i wish i could take pictures of them but it's not permitted.)

i have to admit the first two days (i started last week) working with the kids i felt lost and wondered what i was doing there, thinking to myself, "i need to get another job." that feeling is now gone and i feel more at ease now. (though i am still looking for another job.) however, there is stuff i need to learn including disciplining them, boundaries, etc. i feel like i've been trying to go after every misbehavior when everyone else only calls out the really bad incidents.

i also signed up to volunteer at an elementary school in my neighborhood. one of the first grade teachers called me last week to see if i was interested in helping her in the classroom with a reading activity. i won't be starting that until the week after next. i'm currently taking a yoga class that conflicts with her schedule. hopefully i'll be less tired once my yoga class is over. right now right after class, i have to go home, take a short break and then head out to work which is tiring since i commute on foot and by bus.